Following the thread that Kabbalah is the Scientology of the new millenium, the UK’s Mirror reports that Spice Girl Victoria Beckham now sports a red string bracelet to show her devotion to celebrity Judaism. The London Kabbalah Center teaches that the Zohar’s “unfathomable complexities” (for centuries thought to be too intense for even the most seasoned scholars) can be distilled merely by running one’s hands over the text, or maybe just by purchasing a bottle of holy water.
Rabbi Marcus of the Central London Synagogue isn’t surprised Kabbalah has so many celebrity followers. “If I’m being kind, I’ll say that most of them have probably done well in their field and have everything that money can buy. But they don’t have the one thing money can’t buy and that’s inner peace, serenity and stability. So they go searching and they can afford to….If I’m not being kind, I’d say that the celebrities I’ve come into contact with are the most insecure people I’ve ever met in my life.”
We at Jmerica would never sneer at another’s quest for inner peace, but it doesn’t seem fair that celebrities get to skip memorizing the haftorah portion.

Proof that our Premiere Party at the Astor last week kicked ass abounds. Firstly, we were amused to find that the last shot on our camera was of the sun rising over South Beach! Even Lesley Abravanel from The Miami Herald took notice:

“Although Grass may not have necessarily been actively looking for a companion, for many who frequent places like it, a major issue in life is finding a nice Jewish boy or girl to settle down with. Assisting in this crusade is Jmerica.com, a Jewish dating service whose launch party took place at the Astor last Saturday, which is a dating service in its own right, really, considering the numbers of singles who frequent the place every Saturday night just as they would church or temple.”

Our mother will definitely kvell. We’ll have a full feature about the party along with pictures later.

Hey- we didn’t say it. It sure looks like JDate sure has pissed a lot of people off with their hardline pricing policies. Did we mention Jmerica is free?

Good news, dudes: Reform Jewish leaders in many communities report that females outnumber males as much as 2-to-1 in areas ranging from summer camp to synagogue leadership, so your chances for finding a hot date after shul are pretty high. However, there’s concern that men are feeling abandoned by religion.
“Men just don’t know where they fit in,” said Doug Barden, executive director of the Reform movement’s North American Federation of Temple Brotherhoods. “They’re kind of betwixt and between.”
Sandwiched betwixt two cuties doesn’t seem like something any male we know would complain about, but some are blaming it on the feminist flavor of Reform Judaism. Programming has headed into “touchy-feely” and discussion-based activities in past decades, and leaders plan to attract more males with team-building and sports.
C’mon guys, bring it back home. And bring your bros.

Fashion darling and Nice Jewish Boy Zac Posen (shown here with Nice Jewish Girl Natalie Portman) has a new sugar daddy: P. Diddy. The rapper mogul’s Sean Jean clothing label has invested in Posen’s dress and accessory lines, which will surely make truckloads of money and aid P. Diddy’s undisguised effort to take over the world.

Lenny Kravitz’s upcoming film debut, Barbecues and Bar Mitzvahs is a semi-autobiographical tale of a half Jewish/half black musician’s loves and woes. We’re thinking Purple Rain minus Appolonia’s cleavage, right? Monsieur Kravitz, however, identifies less with Prince than another short, neurotic icon: Woody Allen “It’s about someone in my particular position growing up between two cultures. It’s like ‘Annie Hall’ or ‘Manhattan,’ says Kravitz.
Wow, we’re looking forward to watching Lenny Kravitz bungling a cocaine party and nervously pushing up his glasses around pretty women. Maybe that’s not what he meant, but it takes a lot of gas to compare oneself to Woody Allen before the first movie even comes out.

Mazel tov to Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, who welcomed their baby daughter, Apple Blythe Alison, to the world on Friday. Sure, it’s easy to make fun but we at Jmerica are partial to unusual names for the younguns. We also dig Mama Gwyneth’s decision to stay home and act like a mother, but if we see any paparazzi pics of her and baby lunching with a nanny at Ivy her Jewish Mother license will be revoked.

Modesto, CA, not exactly a bastion of Jewish culture, boasts one certified kashrut eating establishment: Krispy Kreme donuts. No animal lard here- just good old-fashioned vegetable shortening and lots and lots of sugar. May we suggest pairing a plate of glazed goodies with a nice Shabbos wine this evening?

Girl Scout Troop 2007 of Scarsdale, NY is sending care packages full of candy, notes and, of course, those famous Girl Scout cookies to a group of Palestinian girls in East Jerusalem in an effort to bring a few crumbs of peace to the Middle East.
“The knee-jerk reaction to our project is often shock and sometimes mistrust,” explains Judith Lederman, one of the troop leaders for Troop 2077. “But after some thought people realize that this isn’t about politics — it’s about girls getting to know each other — and if it can help change some attitudes, we are fulfilling our Girl Scout promise to help make the world a better place.”
Everyone knows cookies make everything better and we applaud the Scouts for their creativity, enthusiasm and optimism. We hope those thin mints and Lorna Doones go just as well with a glass of goat milk.