Action Man/California governor Schwarzenegger was in Jerusalem this month to break ground at the New Museum for Tolerance, which some might find ironic. The Californian contingency of Jmerica finds it surreal, but not unpleasantly so. We even watched Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines last week and didn’t vomit. Perhaps the idea that a bodybuilding son-of-a-Nazi can climb his way through celebrity to politics to potential peace in the Middle East has shortcircuited our motherboards.

Forget those dang white-bread Pilgrims! Historians are celebrating the 350th year of the first Jewish settlers’ touchdown on American shores (that’s the year 1654, for the mathematically-challenged.) Of course, all the cooking, cleaning and housewarming was done by some tough-ass Jewish wives and mamas, as chronicled in The Jewish Women’s Archive. Next time we get pissy about not having a dishwasher, we’ll remember times have been much, much harder…

Cute and Jewish Miriam Felton-Dansky tries out that other Jewish singles site– and meets a bunch of lame-o’s. She was especially appalled by the lack of grammatical finesse from the potential suitors, leading us to wonder if it’s possible to spellcheck an IM. Jmericans: Remember your written personality is the first attribute by which anyone could unfairly judge you, so dredge up that ol’ Webster’s and put it to work.

Jerry Seinfeld will join forces with Superman once again to the fight the evils of unsponsored celebrity and plain old cash in American Express’ latest online adventure, coming May 20. We love Jerry and all, but wethinks Superman is being exploited here in a Costanza-like, shlemiel role–since when does the man of steel take orders from a guy who lies about his waist size?

Dubmaster Sean Paul kicks out the jams onstage and tosses around bling like it was penny candy. We think he’s worth way more than Fifty Cent, yo! As a Jamaican-born Sephardic Jew of Portugese descent, he’s also a prime candidate to bring home to your mother. Check out the six reasons he’s gotta be Jewish from the UK’s Something Jewish magazine.

Ivan Urquiza has been convicted of romancing women then stealing their money, credit and MAC lipsticks (okay, we made the last part up) in South Florida. This unscrupulous Lothario told detectives he preferred to target Jewish women because “he thought they would have more money.” Those poor women, since they probably were only dating him because they thought he’d have a bigger schlong.

Andy Kaufman reportedly died twenty years ago, but no one would put it past him to have faked the whole thing. In fact, he promised that if he had in fact pulled a practical joke on us all, he would return twenty years to the day to have a big belly laugh about it. His best friend, Bob Zmuda, is planning a resurrection party for Andy at House of Blues in L.A., just in case.
We’ll be waiting with a plate of latkes.

Entertain the preschooler (or just someone with preschooler reading skills) in your life with Dr. Suess’s classic translated into Yiddish by Zackary Sholem Berger.
A poet dedicated to bringing fun Yiddish reading to the people, Berger blogs Suess-style “Support feline Yiddish. Come buy it! Why not? You’ll like it just fine. You’ll love it a lot!”

We try it: Forget Borders and amazon, with their big corporate vibe! Buy it from an independent bookseller and keep it in the tribe!

(Many apologies, Dr. We hear you rolling in you grave…)