A beer bong for Boy Genius Julio for directing us to College Humor, where you can buy a term paper, guffaw at vegetables shaped like schlongs and sneak peeks at naked boobies all at once. If such things had been around when we were idling at U of A we might’ve taken seven years to finish our degree instead of five and half.

..but we don’t have HBO, so we’ll have to wait until next week for a videotape that was once used to document our junior high band performances.
If you haven’t a clue, Ali G is one of the many alteregos of Sacha Baron Cohen, a spot-on satirist who’s, well, J. Says Jossip.com (The J stands for “journalism”; we did think it meant Jewish for a eensy minute until the Mary Kate cocaine coverage burst our balloon):
“We like to think of Cohen as the straight Ru Paul: he’s hysterical in costume, but blends into the crowd as his normal self.”
If you caught the show, let us know…

The Chicago run of Masada: The Musical Saga has been has been postponed indefinitely, which means it won’t be going on to Broadway anytime soon. Too bad. Operatic historical melodrama (which we already know ends with everyone throwing themselves off a cliff) isn’t our favorite thing, but we would’ve at least appreciated a chance to shred it.

Came across Frum Dating Theory in the Jewish blogosphere, run by a guy named Mike who, “having experienced many failed relationships,” feels “fully qualified to provide critical analysis of the frum dating world, both shidduch and otherwise.”
We’re sorry the man can’t get a date, but sexual frusturation has made him damn funny. Some jewels:
“Make sure you choose your date locations and activities wisely. If the girl doesnt appreciate eating corn chips and slurpie in the 7-11 parking lot she’s probably a lesbian anyway.”
And:
“Determining ones own level of “hotness” is almost impossible for guys. For one, because most girls do not ask guys out, and, more importantly, girls are really only interested in money, so you never know what really draws them to the guy.”

It’s our turn to cook tonight, so we unearthed these Kosher Cuban recipes from Something Jewish UK. Now we can’t decide between the Ropa Vieja or the Tilapia in Coconut Sauce…maybe our bros in Little Havana could help us out?

MSNBC reports that Madonna, her husband, their two children and 4000 of her closest Kabbalist friends will celebrate Rosh Hashanah in Jerusalem this September, taking up three hotels and diverting the press corps from other, more serious news items. We’ll be enjoying apples and honey somewhere less holy, but we hope they’ll broadcast live if she performs her tefillin dance next to the Wall.

The city of Hollywood, Florida has filed a suit against the Chabad Lubavitch for operating without a permit in a residential neighborhood. Granted, the Lubavitchers bought the homes in 1999 and hid their plans turn them into a synagogue, then applied for an exemption. But the South Florida Sun-Sentinel found “that the city had granted permits to other religious organizations in similar neighborhoods, or simply allowed them to operate without permits.” This should be interesting. We hope Hollywood City Hall is prepared.

People magazine published a story on the Paskowitz Family Surf Camps this week (you won’t find it on their site since we swiped the print version from the doctor’s office.) Izzy Paskowitz, son of Israel’s first surfer “Doc” Paskowitz, runs surf camps for autistic kids in Malibu, which really warmed our sad little beaten-down hearts (we’re still licking our wounds from yesterday’s Jewschool flamefest.) The Paskowitz site radiates a sense of “kosher aloha” we wish there was more of on the Web.
And while we’re on the subject, we’ve always found the old “surfing the Net” metaphor so odd. What does clickety-clicking through screens while hunched in a chair have to do with surfing? Only thing we’ve found is that the locals are just as nasty.

We became entranced with Maroon 5 and their sexy, rail-thin singer after watching “This Love” in heavy rotation on MTV. J‘s celebrity watcher Nate Bloom reports that “movie star-handsome” Adam Levine’s home will be profiled on “Cribs” later this summer- we’ll watch and see if we can glimpse a mezzuzah on his door.