Linked from Drudge Report: Israeli soldiers suffering from combat stress may be granted the grace of a good old-fashioned spliff. The army will be testing out cannabis on a some happy volunteers in the next few days to see if they lose their resemblance to Colonel Kurtz after a puff or two. No word whether the Jewkah will be employed.
Wow, we never know what subject will take off in a blog discussion. Apparently, ALF really lights y’all’s fire (you, and the poor souls in Croatia who don’t have DirectTV and have a choice between ALF and the farm report.) We thought our fat-nosed friend was long gone back to Planet Melmac, where he’d be earning a nice living running a pocket lint factory bought with his royalties. But it seems he’s still playing the Hollywood game, that fame slut, hosting his own talk show with Ed McMahon as his sidekick.
But the question remains: Is ALF Jewish? Ophira Edut (of Adios, Barbie fame) has an answer, but not a definitive one. We’d hate to out him as J and then receive a nasty letter from his agent detailing his dedication to Santeria. Guess we’ll have to wait ’til we find a paparazzi snap of him lunching at Ivy wearing his red string…
According the yentas at Totally Jewish, Caprice Bourret could be joining the cast of a Brit soap opera based on the Channel 4 hit Hollyoaks. As if any of you droolers actually want to see her act.
According to Al Awaba, the “Gateway To the Middle East,” Saddam Hussein’s daughter, Raghad, in an interview to an Israeli journalist, spoke of plans to hire an American lawyer ‘as long as he’s not Jewish’. In the interview, she complained that her father’s lawyers were requesting “exorbitant fees”, and she asked the reporter for a few names.
The reporter then suggested some, one of them Jewish-sounding. “Excellent, but he’s Jewish”, responded Saddam’s daughter. “You must understand that my father would never allow it. I don’t judge people, but I cannot cooperate with Jews”.
Whatever, hag. When he ends up living out the rest of his life in an army prison run by snapshot-happy, duct-tape lovin’ miscreants, he’ll be wailing that he didn’t try to get Alan Dershowitz.
Sure, it looks like a schamtte score from the discount bin at the thrift, but it’s actually from Retroduck.com a company that offers brand-new “vintage-inspired” attire. Fun, but much cooler if it actually were found at a a synagogue rummage sale. A t-shirt as silly as this one needs a backstory. Anyone who buys this shirt off the ‘net for themselves automatically robs it of its irony; it ceases to be a fabulously ethnic fashion statement and falls under the category of bad taste, along the lines of WWJD? regalia.
Besides, rocking the I’m-so-metro-I-shop-at-the-Goodwill-but-I’m-really-an-accountant vibe isn’t quite as geniune without those vintage armpit stains. Our only hope is that some ‘net-savvy granny buys some to give as Chanukah gifts and we come across one, never worn, in a pile at the Goodwill someday.
We railed that there was no such thing as a Jewish supermodel, but we are forced to admit that we wrong, wrong, wrong.
Meet Caprice Bourret, whose official site makes her out to be a seriously respectable actress/model with singing and entrepreneurial skills, as well as a fat Diet Coke contract and her own line of lingerie.
Her Google search, however, is, shall we say…not safe to browse at work.
(No, we didn’t link it. Find your own porn.)
Here’s to the ultimate Olympic power couple: Expert marksman Alex Danilov will be shooting for Israel come Olympic time while his wife, Olga, stays home with the kids. But after he kicks some target ass, it’ll be his turn to play househusband as Olga continues training for the speed skating events for the 2006 winter events in Turin. Not exactly your typical yuppie marriage, nu?
Zack Braff wrote, directed and stars in Garden State, which opens tonight and already has a buzz happening. We are very, very proud of Zack and his accomplishments and the tiniest bit envious. Not because he’s on his way to becoming a Jewish superstar, but because he’s reportedly dating his costar Natalie Portman.
Here’s his interview with J. and, for you crazy Braff brats, his blog.
Yo, Yenta!
I’m not a bad-looking guy, 28 years old, trying to find a nice Jewish girl that my grandmother would approve of. I mean, literally, because I actually live with my grandma and her opinion counts for a lot. I moved in with her two years ago when her health started failing. Rather than hire someone to take care of her, my family decided that since I have no apparent career goals (I’m in a band and work at a cafe) that I should look after her. It’s not a bad arrangement, since I don’t pay rent and we like most of the same TV shows, but when it comes to dating a new girl, there’s always an awkward moment when I tell her I share a two-bedroom apartment with an 82 year-old woman. I don’t get many second dates. How do I find someone who doesn’t care that I wear a beeper just in case Grandma falls and can’t get up?
– Obedient Grandson, Ft. Lauderdale, FL
Yo, Obedient Grandson : It sounds like you’ve resigned yourself to loserhood just because a couple of women couldn’t appreciate the mitzvah you’re doing for your family.
What a gift to your bubbe to have a strong, young man whom she’s known since before his trip to the mohel caring for her instead of a gum-cracking Continue reading
Just when we thought Madonnesther was getting all legit on us, her husband, Guy Ritchie, pulls a trailer trash moment that reminds us that true Jews don’t get up in their rabbi’s face. The SunUK details a backstage squabble between Mr. Esther and his wife’s Kabbalah guidance counselor, which ended with Madge pulling her guy away and hissing “Don’t f*ing embarrass me!”
A witness observed of Ritchie’s little tantrum: “It certainly wasn’t very Kabbalah.”
What, in fact, does “Kabbalah” mean when used in that context? Anyone?