…and our adolescence officially ends. (Okay, at thirtysomething, maybe it’s long overdue, but we thought the party would last forever.) The Village Voice‘s Donna Gaines pays tribute to the unabashedly Republican guitarist, saying “If Joey was the heart and Dee Dee the soul of the Ramones, Johnny was the balls.”
Damn. Just when The Ramones are getting their big-screen due with a new documentary End of the Century: The Story of the Ramones, the last of those punk rock babies kicks it. We’re so sad, we’re going to sedate ourselves with an iTunes binge.

Dodgers’ first baseman Shawn Green is sitting on the fence on whether he will play against the SF Giants at this Saturday’s game, which takes place smack in the middle of Yom Kippur. With only 13 games left in the season, we understand his ambivalence.
“I’m not talking about it yet,” Green, who’s Jewish, said Sunday after his two-run, ninth-inning homer that put Los Angeles over Colorado 7-6. “I don’t want the media making a big deal out of it.”
Asked again later if he had decided, Green responded: “I just don’t want to talk about it yet.” Green didn’t play on Yom Kippur in 2001, but this year the Dodgers are barely ahead of the Giants for the NL West pennant.
Sure, these are important games, but Green could look for guidance in the precedent set by his teammate, Sandy Koufax, who refused to pitch in the 1965 World Series opener against Minnesota because it was played on Yom Kippur.
This is obviously Green’s personal decision, but if he wants the media to stay out of it, he’s dreaming. Jewish sports fans: where do you fall?

Man, we love this guy. In his latest chutzpah-laden column from Something Jewish UK, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach stands up to the Michael Moore lovers of the world, drawing parallels between anti-Semitism and anti-Americanism.
“Americans have become the new Jews of the world. They are not liked much. The United States is experiencing what the Jews have experienced throughout their history: an irrational hatred, unwarranted animosity.”
We don’t necessarily agree that the U.S. and its current administration have nothing but good intentions for the Middle East and that its only wish is to bring democracy and liberty to oppressed countries, but he points out some serious holes in the U.N.’s policies regarding Sudan, France and Canada. His patriotism is over the top, but it makes us wonder: If Americans are the new Jews, then what does that make us Jewish Americans? Safer in our backyards than anywhere else? Read his whole essay and let us know what you think.

Two of Madonna’s bodyguards have been detained by Tel Aviv police after roughing up two photographers and a policeman Friday night. Ha’aretz reports that Madonna was leaving a restaurant when her henchmen accosted an AP shutterbug on a motorcycle who got a little too close to Her Highness, pulling him off and breaking some of his equipment. Later, at her hotel, the same goons kicked more paparazzi ass, as well as a cop’s, sending all three to the hospital.
This ain’t the first of Kabbalahpalooza’s bad press, and it surely won’t be the last. Could it be that Kabbalah guru Phillip Berg is showing his disapproval of the media zoo by staying far away? How unlike him to shun the spotlight…

J. reports that the East Palo Alto branch of Home Depot will offer NoCal Jews a do-it-yourself sukkah-building workshop. Home Depot employee Maryjane Ichelson recommends PVC pipe for your outdoor dwelling since it’s light and easy to store, but we prefer the old-school approach of ready-cut lumber and scaffolding. Not that we have any kind of talent for tools. In fact, the thought of wielding a saw, drill and/or hammer makes us break out into a sweat. Is a cardboard box sukkah acceptable? One of our neighbors just bought a new refrigerator.

After sweating in synagogue last Thursday, we packed up the VW and drove to the coast to spend a little time communing with God outside. Our plans were to make taschlit at the windiest point of California coast with the hopes that last year’s guilt wouldn’t find their way back from the roiling waters of the Pacific. What happened was that we got pelted with cold sea spray and old challah until we sought shelter on the calmer waters of Tomales Bay. It was certainly less dramatic to see our crumbs floating away on glassy waters, but at least we avoided the bloodthirsty residents of the coastal side, who prefer human heads to sweet bread.
While we prefer to think of ourselves as outdoor adventurers, after a few nights at a crowded public campsite we’re willing to dissolve this fantasy for a nice B&B next year. The reasons:
1. Coleman has yet to manufacture a wireless toaster for bagels.
2. We tripped over an RV satellite dish on our way to the bathroom.
3. The unspoken rule that the people in the next campsite will either be horny teenagers who think that tents are soundproof or a gas-huffing gaggle of Schlitz-swilling skinheads.
4. The schmutz created by s’mores outweighs the delight.
5. We wasted prime star-gazing time trying to light Shabbat candles in the wind.
Not that we didn’t enjoy the trip. It’s just that sometimes when we try to create our own spiritual experience, God likes to play jokes on us. Maybe we should just leave it to the experts.

Being the hippie Left Coast Jews we’ve evolved into as adults, we have our own ways to celebrate the High Holidays. Here’s our checklist for tonight’s Rosh Hashanah proceedings:
1. Two round challahs made at three o’clock in the morning because we were too buzzed to sleep; one for eating, one for taschlit (casting away our guilt for the year with bread crumbs…yes, we need a whole loaf, and so do you, probably.)
2. Phone call to the ‘rents explaining that even though we wouldn’t be attending services this evening, we wouldn’t be going clubbing, either.
3. Gave tzedakeh in the form of a twenty to our favorite homeless guy in the Haight.
4. Phone call to our bubbe in Scottsdale, who cut us short because she didn’t want to miss the brisket being served in the nursing home dining hall.
5. Prayed for peace, tolerance and love for the entire planet. What we lack in formal yeshiva training we make up for in heart.

Happiest New Year to you and yours from Jmerica!