The New York Post’s Page Six made us retch with the news that Prince has convinced Oscar nominee Keisha Castle-Hughes, the glorious young star of Whale Rider, to star in his new video as an Arab-American suicide bomber who flicks the switch in a crowded airport. Yeah, that’s going to make heavy MTV rotation.
We all know Prince believes he has achieved career immortality after his whole symbol-and-slave phase, but leave this talented girl alone, for heaven’s sake! She might be denied a richly-deserved future in Hollywood for participating in such shlock, which would be a tragedy for us cinemaphiles. We bought his new album, and we can’t we feel the same way about The Artist.

We thought our engraved copy of The Gates of Prayer was special, but check out this illuminated manuscript from Italy, circa 1460, featuring poems and prayers. This rare gem is part of a collection from 19th century banker and philanthropist Moses Montefiore’s library slated to be up on the block at Sotheby’s next week; all profits will go towards Jewish education in the UK. (The history of the prominent Montefiore family is fascinating; ol’ Moses was knighted by Queen Victoria and went by the title “Sir.”)
Also up for sale is a manuscript by famous Kabbalist Abraham ben Samuel Abulafia from around the late 14th century decoding the meanings of the 72 names of God and containing “precise instructions for achieving mystical meditation.”
Wonder if Madonna and her band of merry Kabbalahsters will be front and center? Few people have the money to acquire such spiritual treasures; we can only hope peons like us will be able to see them in a museum someday.

Defamer reports that publicity skank/porn priestess Paris Hilton has been accused by a close friend of being an anti-Semite as well as a bigot. All the money in the world and this girl can’t find a bar of soap for her mouth. Guess you just can’t buy class.

That is, as long as you’re married. In his latest JPost column, he writes:
“The really unholy thing is not sex toys but adultery, not a wife wearing lingerie but a husband staring at another woman’s naked body. The monotony of modern marriage is the real enemy we have to combat.” Even for us barely-observant Jews, it’s good to know God approves of batteries in the bedroom.
If you don’t read the whole piece, at least relish this excerpt: “Rabbinic legend relates that Moses initially refused the donation of the Israelite women’s mirrors, to be used as copper for the priest’s washing basin in the Tabernacle, because their purpose was to increase marital lust. But God scolded Moses for his reluctance, telling him that such prudery was misguided. The mirrors were particularly dear to Him since they strengthened the attachment between man and wife. Stated differently, God is in love with husbands who are in love with their wives. While the analogy is not perfect, why can’t the same be said of other enhancements that bring fire into the marital bedroom? If a husband and wife want to use handcuffs to light their fire, who cares?”
Who indeed? Thanks, Rabbi, we’re off to the Good Vibrations site for a little shopping.

Some critics bashed this French romantic comedy for its schizo camera work and non-existent plot, but we thought God Is Great, I’m Not captured the complexities of love, faith and weird hairstyles without dragging us down into boring philosophical matters. It stars the impossibly cute Audrey Tautou (of Amelie fame) as a semi-Buddhist fashion model with spiritual amibitions who tries to enlighten her non-religious Jewish boyfriend; even though not much else happens, we got a good giggle when she lights a cigarette off his Holocaust survivor parents’ menorah. Yeah, maybe we shoulda been paying attention to the fine art of American debate taking place in our hometown (which hasn’t seen so much action since the Pope visited back in the 80’s) instead of wasting time with French subtitles, but we know who we’re voting for anyway. Don’t you?

JTA reports that some folks at the Anti-Defamation League and other Jewish groups are “saddened, disappointed and offended” by this animated Web ad featuring a pissed-off bubbie whacking W. with a gigantic handbag, but being the immature, apolitical bunch that we are, we just found it really, really funny. Of course, maybe Bubbie’s just farklempt that she mistakenly voted for Buchanan last time around on her butterfly ballot.

From the wires: “JERUSALEM: Israel’s police chief has dismissed a senior traffic officer after catching him speeding, media reports have said. They said Chief Superintendent Moshe Karadi spotted David Gaz, commander of traffic police in southern Israel, driving at 140km an hour last Wednesday on a highway where the limit was 110km an hour and pulled him over.”
For the metrically-challenged, this means the guy got fired for going just 12 miles over the speed limit. So why can’t this country bring down a Commander in Chief for the crime of being so dumb he can’t even answer debate questions by himself?

Thanks to Esther, of both My Urban Kvetch and JDaters Anonymous for turning us on to NY Metro Naked City columnist and novelist Amy Sohn. While we’re waiting to acquire of copy of Sohn’s latest novel, My Old Man, we poked around some of her past columns and were charmed by her take on sex and single life. Yes, she’s just like Carrie Bradshaw, only Jewish, which must make Passover seders a tad uncomfortable (“so, dahlink, tell your bubbe how to give a decent hand job…”
We’re just glad someone in the world of Jewish literature has returned to the sexy days of yore- why did Philip Roth have to go all serious and political on us? We look forward to indulging Sohn’s Run Catch Kiss ASAP while soaking in a bubble bath.

What can one say here that hasn’t already been said? We adored this man who imbued Superman with a compassionate wisdom (rabbinical, if you will) and humbled us with his strength, intelligence and good humor. For nine years he lived hooked up to machines, unable to do anything but speak and think, and he still filled his life with activism, charity, work and family. As of last week, he still believed he would walk again. Who of of us could claim the same faith in life? We are sorry he’s gone, but perhaps the grandness of his soul was finally too much for his damaged body. May he fly in peace.