Apprentice 2 contestant Jennifer Crisafulli has more tsuris than simply being booted off The Donald’s reality show in front of millions of TV viewers. Trump canned her for complaining to her teammates that they lost one of the first competitions because of “two old Jewish fat ladies” who impeded the ambition-crazed real estate agent in her goal of total dominination. Now Crisafulli’s real-life boss (who couldn’t possibly have worse hair than her TV boss) has asked for her resignation in light of all the bad press she’s been receiving for her “anti-Semitic” comment (we don’t think she’s anti-Semitic, just classless and stupid.)
Says her boss: “She had everything going for her and she’s blown it. It was bad, bad, bad, bad judgment.”

The Abayudaya Jews of Uganda (read more here and here) have released a new CD for your multicultural listening enjoyment.

The Music of the Jews of Uganda presents a unique collection of African-Jewish music in which the rhythms and harmonies of Africa blend with Jewish celebration and traditional Hebrew prayer. This compelling repertoire is rooted in local Ugandan music and infused with rich choral singing, Afro-pop, and traditional drumming. The repertoire includes lullabies, political and children’s song, religious rituals, hymns, and celebratory music, with song texts in Hebrew, English, and several Ugandan languages. This singular community of African people living committed Jewish lives has survived persecution and isolation and asserts, “We have been saved by our music.”

Wethinks we’ll supplant the new Wilco for this ASAP!

Jmerica is everywhere these days, but our Los Angeles and South Beach staff members are particularly well-situated to spot some J celebrities here and there. Yes, we know it’s not news, but we’re blogging it anyway- cuz we feel like it.

While trying on some jeans in the spankin’ new G-Star store on Melrose in L.A., we looked over to see tall and famous Jew Jeff Goldblum. He complained to the clerk that he was wearing his only pair of jeans. He was with some smokin’ hot 6-foot blond (? shiksa) who helped him pick out a fly pair. Now he has two. You heard it here.

So, like, according to our favorite bathroom lit, The National Enquirer, Mean Girls star Lindsay Lohan, like, totally dissed Demi Moore by refusing to wear the Kabbalah bendel she gave her? It was pretty rude, considering Demi is, like, old enough to be Lindsay’s mom, and like, we were always taught to receive gifts from older people with a smile, even if they’re lame? Lindsay used to be totally into Kabbalah, but her boyfriend Wilmer Valderrama said it was all bunk, right? So then Demi’s boyfriend, so-hott Ashton Kutcher, got way fierce with his That 70’s Show costar Wilmer and like, their double-dating days are so over.

A new study by San Francisco’s Institute for Jewish & Community Research shows that up to 50% of Jewish community employees leave within the first five years. Even though we want to serve our community by working at JCCs and various other organizations, there’s this extra guilt trip presumed by bosses that makes it more like working for your mother. Jessica Ravitz of J. Weekly sums up why so many of us lively, idealistic young people quit jobs working for the Jewish community: “For San Francisco, in 2003, the qualifying income for a single person was $32,050. Eligible employees working in our Jewish community could fill a housing project. Instead, we

We made the unfortunate radio choice of Berkeley’s KPFA this morning while on carpool duty as Amy Goodman of Democracy Now presented an astonishingly one-sided report on the latest chaos in Gaza. While the Israeli army has launched a massive offense against Palestinian rocket attacks in the past five days, the “leftist” media has again portrayed Israel as violent aggressors, paying little attention to the circumstances that have led to what some might view as a highly organized defense against guerilla warfare. Goodman entertained two Palestinian guests from the Palestinian refugee camp of Jabalya, but when London Guardian reporter Chris McGreal began listing the terrorist acts commited by Hamas that led up to last week’s airstrikes, she cut him off. So much for free speech. Manipulative media now, democracy some other time!
Man, are we weary of blanket liberalism that refuses to examine history and facts. This second intifada, now in its fourth year of ripping through the Holy Land, is so mired in “us against them” ideology that it’s starting to get creepy around here. Even though we don’t presume to know what breakfast in Gaza must be like, we know we don’t like journalists who only present a little bit of truth in order to serve their own agendas.
Maybe the world will look a little better after a latte.

Cutie-pie Jewish blogger Superflous Juxtaposition in Los Angeles recounts the lamest ever Jdate that never was. Her comment feature isn’t working, so we’ll just say it here:
Honey, if a guy breaks his nose and his cell phone before you’ve even met, why would you even consider bringing your heart anywhere near this schlemiel?

A Canadian man in jail for “wilfully promoting hatred against Jewish people via the Internet” has been denied Internet access, but they can’t stop him from communicating with extraterrestrial beings. See, this guy isn’t just your run-of-the-mill whackjob; he’s the “Grande World Councilor, Lion of Judah, authority in the reclamation of planet earth for the Federation of Free Planets and the restoration of paradise, guardian of the Arab Prophetess Uthrania Seila, enlightened advisor to the financial elite, sapphire to the pyramid of man’s evolution, ex-engineering technician, author, and more!”
Bet you’d trade all those titles for a DSL line now, schmuck!

The Christian Science Monitor reports that at least one Italian is p.o.’d about the way his people are portrayed in Dreamworks’ latest kiddie flick, Shark Tale, which features Robert De Niro as a mafioso shark. Lawrence Auriana, president of the New York-based Columbus Citizens Foundation, calls out Golden Jew Steven Spielberg for ethnic stereotyping, saying he should know better. Dreamworks says it stands by its product as good, clean family entertainment (which we plan to confirm this weekend while in the company of small children who share our love of talking fish and Junior Mints.)
We Jews get our hackles raised pretty often about ethnic stereotypes in the movies (is an aggro shark the same as killing Jesus?) but our bottom line is that if a joke’s funny, we laugh. Even at the Jewish ones.