Jewlicious blogger Alli has used her crazy search skills to find yet another classic Net gem entitled JDate.com Is A Nazi Plot!
An excerpt:
To get a list of every Jew on earth, you need to use the Internet to get them to sign up for something every Jew needs, like an Internet dating service. Recently, the joint ADL-ATF investigative team took a closer look at JDATE.COM after rumors of a neo-Nazi connection. The shocking results of our study confirm the worst fears of the Jewish community: JDATE.COM is a Nazi site designed to collect names for the next Holocaust!
This cracked us up; it sounds like a plot pitch for an episode of “South Park.” It’s obviously the work of some clever little hoaxer, but still, we”re relieved that while Jdate is financially precarious and run by a madman, there’s not a shred of proof that it’s run by Nazis. (Read the entire Jewlicious post and admire their thorough research, please.)
But you can’t be too careful, right? If you’ve yet to sign up for Jmerica’s evergrowing singles scene, you can trust that not only are all our shareholders (!) Jewish, we’re not really smart enough to take over the world.

Michael and Maria Sklar, an Orthodox Jewish couple in L.A., have taken the IRS to court to convince a tax judge to let them deduct their children’s religious school tuition, an illegal practice which has earned them several audits. Michael Sklar (an accountant, are you suprised?) centers their case around a secret agreement between the U.S. government and the Church of Scientology that allows Scientologists to deduct their “spiritual counseling” costs from their taxable income (hmm…charging money for spiritual counseling. Uh, wouldn’t that be the difference between a religion and a cult?)
Of course it’s outrageous that the celebrity “religion” gets exempted while others do not, but if the Sklars win their case, the IRS will have to allow everyone to claim deductions for all religious instruction. Yes, even the parents of Madonna’s Kabbalah midgets. This means less money for public schools, not to mention a small, fallen-by-the-wayside thing called “separation between church and state.” We know we live in Jesusland now, but only a couple of Jewish parents would have the chutzpah to take on the IRS. Let the judge repeal the Scientology clause and tell the Sklars to suffer from taxes like the rest of us.

While attending services Friday night for the first time since we’ve paid our own car insurance, we found out that the Shema is a perfect haiku. Count the 5-7-5 syllable pattern for yourself:
She-ma Yis-ra-el
A-do-nay El-o-hei-nu
A-do-nay E-chad

Is it a coincidence that the most powerful yet simplest Jewish prayer fits the Japanese form of poetic perfection? It must be, but then Adonai works in mysterious ways.
(Check out some other less holy Haikus For Jews by David Bader.)

The Forward has published its list of the 50 most influential people in Judaism today…guess who’s #51? Is this the traditional Jewish media’s way of accepting Maddonesther as a quasi-Jew with more power over the masses than any rabbi? D’ya think her next step will actually to become a rabbi? That would simply rock.
Good Shabbos, Jmericans. Eat well, sleep deep and peace out.

Page Six reports that Tony award-winning playwright/actor Harvey Fierstein (we love his voice; he sounds like he was sired by a five-pack-a-day-smoker and piece of sandpaper) will replace Alfred Molina as Tevye in the revival of “Fiddler on the Roof.” We like Molina (Catholic) and all, but if your production’s Tevye ain’t Jewish, it’s amateur night.

With the intention of upping the membership of San Francisco State University‘s most unpopular club the day after the election, the vice-prez of the College Republicans found his information table in Malcolm X plaza surrounded by an unfriendly group of female Palestinian students and their angry cohorts. After throwing food and beverages and bitch-slapping the Republican (as if he were soley responsible for their disenfranchisement and bad manners), the women declared the College Republicans “bigots and racists” and a mini-riot ensued. Police encouraged the Republicans to leave rather than arresting their attackers. Campus President Robert Corrigan seems to encourage this psychotic behavior by the General Union of Palestinian Students, who were barely disciplined for an attack on Jewish students earlier in the year.
Sheesh. Get to class, kids.

The New York Daily News reports one of the more bizarre tragedies of the day:
“A cross-dressing, bearded Hasidic man wearing blue eye shadow and pink pumps was busted on charges of killing a 75-year-old rabbi who had taken him into his home.”
The poor rabbi had recently lost his wife to brain cancer and had taken the man as a boarder to help with the rent, but after he didn’t show up to the senior center for a few days, a friend stopped by and noticed the smell. The cross-dressing killer “had a full face of makeup on – with a beard,” according to a source, but had only previously been seen by his neighbors dressed in traditional Hasidic garb.

The man who showed the world how terrorism is an effective way to achieve fame, fortune and power has finally expired. The official cause of death is brain hemorrhage, but some speculate AIDS, leukemia and/or poisoning by stealthy Jewish ninjas. To our frightened disgust, some American newspapers are touting Arafat as some kind of ‘heroic leader of an oppressed people,’ but we’ll always remember him as the sociopathic, murderous scumbag he was.
The 72 virgins can have his toad ass. Let us pray that by removing his sad sack of bones from the planet, the obstacles to peace he created will disappear as well.

Just in case you’ve missed the far-reaching influence of FOX’s over-hyped teen drama The O.C., an interfaith couple out of Montana has launched a line of holiday cards inspired by the fictional concept of Chrismukkah. With nearly half of all newly-married Jews hitched to non-Jewish spouses, such fitzing with tradition is borne of necessity, though Chrismukkah.com’s founders say it’s not meant to replace either holiday:
“One of Chrismukkah.com’s goals is to encourage awareness of Jewish identity and embracing of Jewish holiday traditions within interfaith families and among half-Jews.”
Jewish purists will certainly blanche at Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer wearing a menorah on his antlers, but really, isn’t hay better than nun?