Whether his brain is the consistency of mushed veggies or this coma thing is just an excuse to receive sponge baths from French nurses, the PLO leader is hanging tight. However, his final resting place is already up for debate. He wants to be buried in Jerusalem? Not likely.
“Jerusalem is a city where Jews bury their kings. It’s not a city where we want to bury an Arab terrorist, a mass murderer,” Israeli Justice Minister Yosef Lapid said.
Perhaps we could interest him in a nice crematory service on a public bus?

JTA provides us with a breakdown of who’s J on Capitol Hill. All in all, we’re represented by 11 in the Senate and 26 in the House, a better ratio than the general population. Nice.

While we’re on the subject of converts this morning, actor and former Democrat Ron Silver (most recently seen in the failed FOX TV drama “Skin”) claims his switch over to the winning team has come at a “high professional cost” in Hollywood, where Republicans are almost as popular as madam Heidi Fleiss after she started naming clients. Silver can’t be sure whether his recent unemployment is due to his outspoken support of the President or simply because Hollywood is already overrun with aging Jewish character actors.

A shout out to Sam Shmikler, who sent along this little item labeled “Why I’m Glad Judaism Forbids Proselytism:” A Taiwanese man who was attacked after he jumped into the lion’s den at the Taipai zoo was reportedly trying to convert the lions to Christianity. He was clawed and bitten when his pleas of “Jesus will save you” and “Come bite me” drove a non-believing male lion into violence; we’ve had the same reaction when the Witnesses show up at our house during dinnertime. Zoo workers were able to drive off the lion with water hoses and tranquilizer guns, which doesn’t seem quite fair, does it?
Maybe the guy’s brain was scrambled from too much Bible banging: Christians were thrown to the lions as a punishment and to entertain the Romans, but it was Daniel, a nice Jewish boy, who received God’s grace to tame them in their den.

New York Daily News reports that Mel Gibson hasn’t had enough of interpreting history and incurring the disdain of the Jewish people. After portraying the Jews as passive Christ killers in that movie of his, he’s now very close to sealing a deal which will allow him to begin production on a film based on My Glorious Brothers, Howard Fast‘s 1948 historical novel about the Maccabees. The story of the mighty Maccabees and how they defended Judaism took place a couple thousand years BCE, but we’re sure he’ll figure out a way to blame them for Jesus anyway.
Fast’s widow is none too keen about Mr. Freako Catholic making a movie about her late husband’s book, but perhaps Anti-Defamation League director Abe Foxman says it best:
“The way [Gibson] treats history … is not the way I would like the world to learn about the heroism of the Maccabees … So, thanks but no thanks.”
Yeah, dude, go make a movie about a saint or something and leave the Hanukkah story to the Weinsteins.

*sigh*. Four more years. We don’t know anybody who actually voted for him out here on the Western front (or would admit to it, anyway), but we won’t cry “fraud” or “conspiracy” (but plenty of others will!) because this is the way our great, free country works. We suppose we should get behind W, but we just know we’re going to get sh*t on eventually.
Update: The good people of Colorado voted in Ken Salazar for Senate over the
stupid but very rich Pete Coors, so our faith in the American people hasn’t been fully destroyed.

Sam Lender, the enterprising young lad from Poland who got the idea to freeze bagels and therefore revolutionized the American breakfast, expired from heart disease at his home in Boca Raton on October 17. We’re not huge fans of Lender’s, preferring our bagels fresh and without that weird crumbly thing that commercial bagels have, but you’ve got to respect the man (and his brothers) for bringing a Jewish food into the American mainstream– even if the goyim still don’t know what a bagel’s actually supposed to taste like.

An army of rhesus monkeys has attacked 300 children in three weeks at a famous Hindu temple in India. No one can explain why the formerly peaceful creatures dwelling at the shrine have become evil bloodsucking varmints, but we suspect it may have something to do with union wages for their laboratory brethren.