Monthly Archives: December 2004

T-Shirt Of The Week: Shalom Y’all

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user submitted pictureIn honor of our upcoming trip below the Mason-Dixon, we pay homage to our Southern kin in Georgia, Virginia and both Carolinas. We know it’s not technically a t-shirt, but this khaki cotton-poly poplin number with snap front placket, front pocket and snazzy patches is a welcome detour from yer basic white cotton crewneck, dontcha think? Perfect for pumping gas or just settin’ on the porch whittling a mezuzzah.
Order it from Shalom Y’all, The Documentary or just visit to learn more about the Southern Jewish experience.

Less Sexy In The Holy City

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user submitted pictureWe don’t know how we missed this a few weeks back, since anything related to Jews and sex is definitely our bag:
Lux Cosmetics postergirl Sarah Jessica Parker was given a modesty makeover when Orthodox leaders complained that her billboard showed too much skin. Unilever, Lux’s parent company, figured it was worth the hundreds of thousands of shekels necessary to outfit Parker with a longer skirt and sequined jacket, explaining that “We dressed Sarah Jessica Parker for the winter.”
Power to the people, yo. As much as we appreciate skimpily-dressed star candy, no one should have to be offended while waiting for the bus. Now, if the rabbis could only help us draw trenchcoats and moustaches on those skanky bebe ads all over San Francisco, we’d be stoked.

Gwen Goes For The Gelt

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user submitted pictureWe were led to SoCal’s BeachHillel.com via Jewlicious (ck crosses Canadian borders and cyberspace faster than a speeding bullet) where we had a great guffaw at the finalists of the Monster Menorah Contest (check out dreadlocked Barbie as a shamash candle!)

Rabbi Yonah (arguably the coolest campus rabbi ever) also alerted us to one of the more disturbing items of the day: Gwen Stefani warbling “If I Were A Rich Girl” looped through rapper Eve’s lyrical stylings (listen here), effectively bastardizing one of the most famous Jewish anthems (Fiddler on the Roof‘s “If I Were A Rich Man”) into a throwaway single. No doubt it’s catchy, but every time the “ya-dada-dada-da-da” riff comes through we get the creeps.
We agree with Rabbi Yo: Surburban Homeboy’s Tradition futzes with the original lick but doesn’t suck the life out of it.

A Gentile Chanukah

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user submitted pictureLori Borgman of Indystar.com shows us that our Midwestern Jewish brethern have a positive influence on their gentile neighbors during this season of mixed blessings. For Borgman, who is not Jewish (coulda fooled us with that last name, lady) watching her neighbors light the menorah has become part of her family’s tradition and writes that “as a Christian, I feel a quiet reassurance in knowing that the Hebrew traditions are being passed to another generation, for the roots of the Christian faith are forever intertwined with the Jewish faith.”
We just thought that was a lovely sentiment. Read the whole article, if you like.

British Jews: One Chanukah Spelling For All

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user submitted pictureSo the JPost uses “Hanukka,” while Something Jewisk UK likes “Chanukah.” We even came across a new permutation this week in the Jewish Chronicle, “Chanucah,” which we’d never seen before.
Oy, it all sounds the same to us, but the Board of Guardians of British Jews has had it with the multiple spellings and has issued a mandate that as of Kislev 25 5766 (December 25, 2005), “British Jews should only spell the festival of Chanukah as Chanukah.”
“Over the years, we

Progress Is Good!

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user submitted pictureJmerica’s genius gnomes have been awfully busy in the last few weeks building up the site to enhance your digital Jewish experience. For those lovely readers who patronize this blog, have you listed your business or service in the brand spanking new JDirectory yet? Filling fast with listings from Jewish schools to tech advice companies to kosher restaurants all over the country, it’s the place for you to seek and find all commerce that’s Jewish-related.
Jmerica Magazine also boasts two new pieces this month: Sam Shmikler’s Remedy For Restless Hands is a Jewish look at masturbation that reminds us all that our sacred parts are not a toy. And if you abhor red-and-green blinking bling, Yo, Yenta! tackles how to cope with the tackiness of the season with her usual inappropriate smarminess.
Thanks to the gnomes and Happy Monday to all!

Rest Well, But Not TOO Well

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user submitted pictureEvery Shabbat we look forward to shutting down the screen, turning off the cell and sinking into a deep slumber that lasts well into Saturday afternoon. But since there are small children in our vicinity, we always seem to be awake far earlier than our bodies would like. But Aish‘s Rabbi Noah Weinberg has made us rethink our perpetual sleep deprivation as a holy tool thanks to Way To Wisdom #19 (out of an impressive 48):
Bi-miyut shayna – literally “minimizing sleep.” The desire for living is the struggle against sleep. On a deeper level, it’s about waking up to life.
We’ll try to remember that tomorrow morning when the squeals commence. As long as there’s coffee, we can wake up to life, even on our day of rest.
Shabbat Shalom and Happy Night Four, peeps!
Link c/o That Yid kid who likes to rock, Velvel. Painting by J.W. Waterhouse.

Jewish Celeb Sighting: Larry David

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user submitted pictureJmerican Mike reports:
Larry David at the Lakers-Suns game in L.A. on Wednesday night, wearing his familiar sloppy black suit and white sneakers. Looking a bit smaller in person than on the tube (his on-screen wife Cheryl is tiny). He was sitting next to his buddy, Michael Moore, who looked like he’s been eating quite well since the big DVD sales of Farenheit 9/11.
But please, curb your enthusiasm: The Lakers lost, 113-110. Larry went home sad.