With the smooth moves of a politician who knows how to handle fire, California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger joined Jewish leaders today to light a Chabad-sponsored chanukiah on the Capitol steps in Sacramento. Adam Sandler was among a few famous Jews out to support the Guvanator; can we expect a clever line about this historical event in the next version of “The Chanukah Song”?
A grouping of waxen pop icons (no, not Keith Richards) over at Madame Tussaud’s London branch has pissed off Christian leaders who call it “worse than bad taste.” Featuring David Beckham and his wife Posh Spice (both Kabbalah converts) as Joseph and Mary, with President George Bush, Prime Minister Tony Blair and Prince Philip as the Three Wisemen and disco diva Kylie Minogue blessing the the entire affair as an angel, it sounds like all that’s missing is Gary Coleman as the baby Jesus.
The Kabbalah Center has no comment so far, but the Vatican said it was unacceptable to have celebrities representing the holy creche. Here at Jmerica we’re just wondering if it’s not too late to cast a scene with Matt Damon as Judah Maccabee.
After consulting her rabbi on the matter, Madonna canned her longtime manager and Kabbalah convert Camille Henry last week for having an affair with a Reinvention tour bodyguard, citing that she could no longer have such a brazen slut on the payroll. Henry and her paramour both had partners back home, and their boss, with her newfound commitment to faithfulness and monogamy, is playing the holier-than-thou card. She seems to have forgotten her own checkered past– anyone remember her trying to seduce a very-married, pre-English-speaking Antonio Banderas in Truth or Dare?
From Medical News Today: The Human Genome Project has allowed scientists to identify disease-related genes endemic to certain populations, giving a future to the treatment and prevention of diseases like Tay-Sachs, a neurological disorder affecting infants that is carried in the genes of one out of 27 American Ashkenazic Jews.
Genetic studies over the past half century have shed light on Jewish origins, the relatedness of Jewish communities, and the genetic basis of Mendelian disorders among Jewish peoples. Dr. Ostrer will discuss how these observations have been used to develop genetic testing programs and identify penetrance modifiers.
We don’t speak the lingo, but we think this means Jewish couples won’t have to be so worried about “modifying their penetrance” to protect their future offspring.
From Rotem Gear Shop. We know, it’s not scintillating, but at least it’s holiday-related and clean family fun. Unlike this one, which may be appropriate for Chanukah, but just so inappropriate in every other way.
Yo, Yenta!
My gentile roommate is making me nuts with her Christmas decorating. Right after Thanksgiving one of those fake wreaths swathed in green-and-red plaid appeared on the front door, followed by stupid Santa cutouts in the window. I already know what’s coming this week since it’s all she’s been talking about: the tree. She’s basically a nice girl, but she’s trying to rope me into hanging tinfoil or whatever on it and making a party out of the whole thing. I was raised in a home where we had a menorah, that’s it. No lights, no freakin’ Chanukah bush (she actually asked me if I wanted one!), just candlelight, and that’s the way I like it. How can I tell her to back off and that it’s my house, too?
– Help For The Holidays, Long Island, NY
Yo, Help For The Holidays!: One of the more unfortunate side effects of the so-called “Christmas spirit” is that it brings out the worst of the worst in bad taste. Oy, the grotesque elf/angel/fat man in a red suit chozzerai I have longed to snatch off my neighbors’ lawns and run Continue reading
The super sleuths over at Daily Jews have revealed the identity of the clever lyricist of “Hanukkah Hey-Ya”, the OutKast parody that has every Jew shakin’ tuchus. We bow to the creativity of one Eric Schwartz (aka kosher rapper Smooth-E, who is not to be confused with another Eric Schwartz who wrote the catchy ditty “Keep Your Jesus Off My Penis”.)
Check out Smooth-E’s exclusive interview in SomethingJewishUK.
In our own attempt at a scoop (we found the info by revisiting the original site; musta been revised to accomodate all the traffic,) the Flash wizard who took Schwartz’s song and made it visual (we use that term “wizard” a bit sarcastically, as the video looks a little bit like something made an Internet vocational school) has been outed as well.
Most recently seen as the one-eyed meshuggeneh Chief Bloomenbergansteinthal in The Hebrew Hammer, this tall drink of Jewish water was spotted by our favorite personal trainer Mark Lebos at World Gym in Marin County. Lebos reports that the film star, author and social activist pumps iron like a man half his age (he’s a handsome and distinguished 62.)
Also seen as the compassionate scientist in E.T. and an obsessed lover in Bitter Moon, Coyote (born Rachmil Pinchus ben Mosha Cohon) penned his entertaining autobiography Sleeping Where I Fall about his days as a ground-breaking member of the radical San Francisco Mime Troupe.
Thanks to Judaica artist Marsha Plafkin, even those without sight can remember that a Great Miracle Happened There. This braille dreidel, aka The Braidel, is cast in aluminum and can be purchased for $18.
Says Plafkin on her site: Hope rebuilt, like Braille, requires not the eye, but hand and heart to see.
So now if you’re playing dreidel with your glaucoma-inflicted bubbie, she’s gonna know if you cheat.
Guess this guy loves Chanukah as much as we do! Gotta love the reaction of the two onlookers. Courtesy of bangitout.com, where some truly clever Jews have amassed quite a treasure trove of kosher comedy. Check out the top Chanukah pick-up lines (including Chanukah? I hardly know ya! and You make my shamash melt) which we’re sure some of you will put to good use. Also, the Eight Nights of Chanukah parody is not to be missed.
Get yer menorahs ready, kids!