The UK’s Jewish Chronicle has published a piece on why Sharon Osborne is the ultimate Jewish mother:
Not only is 52-year old Sharon a fantastic wife/mother/businesswoman/ TV presenter, she
Jewish Princess…Of Darkness
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Monthly Archives: December 2004
All We Want For Chanukah Is Our Four Front Teeth
Posting may be a bit slow today, as we must rush to the dentist for yet another emergency visit. To update those on the saga of one Jewish kid’s mouth gone wild, our temporary plate fell out this weekend during a slightly drunken rumpus. This wouldn’t have been too bad, except that one of our companions then stepped on our false teeth, grinding them to smithereens under a Gucci loafer. Left with the remaining fang-shards hanging from our gums, we resemble one of Maurice Sendak’s Wild Things, or perhaps the Sea Hag from the Popeye cartoons. It’s a charming effect, really.
We’ve already established that Jewish children of Ashkenasic descent are more apt to visit the orthodondist, so we know some of your must have some dental horror stories to share to make us feel better. C’mon, join our gummy pity party and post a kvetch.
What Happens When The Moon Is In The Seventh House?
Madonna reportedly called her Versace photo shoot to a halt so that she could pray and meditate, Kabbalah-style, for a “period of good fortune.”
Someone overheard her praying: “Rosh Chodesh for the moon in Sagittarius. It ushers in a period of good fortune.”
Whatever smarmy comment we could make about her voo-Jew mantra mumblings, it must work: she was paid $10.5million for vogueing that afternoon.
Yenta Sentiments
Forget the Chrismukkah schmaltz. A coupla enterprising bubbies have jumped on the Internet greeting card bandwagon with Yenta Sentiments, a line for all occasions, from plotzing to kvetching.
Our fave: Shlepaholic…12 Steps And I Have To Sit Down !
There’s still time to order for Chanukah…
Where The Wild Things Came From
We always knew mischievous wolf-boy Max had to be Jewish, but it turns out author Maurice Sendak was inspired by his own crazy family for the childhood classic Where The Wild Things Are:
Every Sunday night in the late 1930s, Maurice Sendak
Writer Decamps To No-Jews Land
Shucks, our favorite J. Weekly columnist Jessica Ravitz has split the Bay Area to take a job with the Salt Lake City Tribune. We wish her much mazel in Mormonland- girl, you’re gonna need it.
J. is still searching for her replacement: any takers?
The Biggest Bucket Of Fried Ever
A lightning bolt struck the power supply at Kibbutz Yifat in northern Israel last week, instantly killing 10,000 chickens. Though serving ’em up with a side of coleslaw is forbidden by the laws of kashrut, we’re thinking it doesn’t get more kosher than being fried by the actual hand of G-d.
And The #1 Word Of The Year Is…
So apparently, this whole blogging thing is catching on. Really, there couldn’t be a more flexible word: it’s a noun, a verb, it’s a phenomenon. Coming soon to a dictionary near you.
Survivor Winner Gives Back to Africa
Uber-mensch and survivor of the fittest Ethan Zohn has returned to Africa to do more than form alliances with other thrill-seeking contestants: the former soccer goalie is partnering with a Jewish-based non-profit program to address the ravages of AIDS in this impoverished land. Zohn’s own non-profit, Grassroots Soccer, “focuses on AIDS education and team building through soccer” while working with Project Namuwongo Zone B, which “provides access to clean water, micro-finance loans and school fees for children living in strife.”
How refreshing to see someone parlay their celebrity into tzedakah instead of VIP status at the Viper Room!
Natalie in the Nude, Coming Soon
Faced with the likelihood that stills from her nekkid scene in the upcoming movie “Closer” will make it to the tawdry files of many a young man’s hard drive in the coming weeks, Natalie Portman remains impassive.
Says our favorite Jewish princess: “Yeah, it’ll be nude celebrities dotcom. But that’s fine. I’m not scared. I’m brave.”
We’re sure some of our male readers have gone to scour the Web already, but we just can’t help thinking about her poor mother.