First it’s a kosher credit card that won’t work on Shabbos; now Israeli tekkies have come up with a frum cell phone. The kosher-stamped Motorola handsets come free of corrupting influences such as internet access, text services, video and voice-mail applications, and provides a cheaper incentive for callers within the Orthodox network plan. No word on ringtone choices; any suggestions beyond “Am Yisrael Chai” and “Hatikvah”?
c/o Gizmodo.

Peter Benenson, whose vision inspired the most widespread (and effective) human rights campaign in history, passed on February 25 after a devoting more than half his life to helping oppressed people all over the world fight for justice, freedom and dignity. Amnesty Intenational began in 1961 after Benenson called for a one-year appeal to draw attention to two students imprisoned in Portugal for drinking a toast “to liberty;” forty-four years later the organization that champions the civil rights of human beings from the Maldives to Mexico to here in the U.S. remains a thorn in the side of those who would rather dismiss them.
The grandson of a Jewish banker, Benenson organized students to help Jews who had fled Hitler

Los Angeles Jmerican Mike garners the honor of #1 Jewish Celebrity Sycophant for his surreptitious spying at a swanky Wilshire Boulevard spot:
“Saw Natalie Portman at Barney’s New York in Beverly Hills last Saturday. I guess she must’ve been doing some last-minute Oscars shopping. In a city where it’s pretty routine to catch Eric Clapton lunching with his wife at the local cafe one day and see Kirsten Dunst shopping with her grandma the next, it’s a little odd to see a celebrity attached to a bodyguard, but apparently Natalie has now reached the level of the Gloved One.
She was stunning, but in all honesty, her famous cheekbones appeared a little famished. But even the normally stoic and unimpressed Barney’s staff (clearly tired of listening to Robbie Williams try to convince them that he actually matters on another continent) stumbled over each other to catch but a glimpse of Natalie walking down the stairs.”
Pretty impressive. But dude, where was your camera phone?
This first-hand info confirms that Natalie has returned to Hollywood after taking time off to study at Hebrew University and cause an intended ruckus while filming the low-budget film “Free Zone” in Jerusalem.
But we’re not actually stalking her, we promise. Right, Mike?

We only have time for one post today, as it’s less than an hour ’til Shabbos and the organic chicken we’re roasting for dinner remains pink and goose-pimpled, the vegetables unchopped. So instead of trying to report to you what happened in the Jewish world (you can always find out on your own anyway, but you love us) we can only once again try to express the relief and gratitude we feel when Friday night rolls around.
We, as you do, have a particular and personal relationship (or non-relationship) to Judaism, and while we’ve never come close to observing the halachic code, we make an effort (or really, a non-effort) to devote our Saturdays to nature, friends and family. We don’t carry money, if possible; then there are those mornings when the day cannot proceed without a professionally-prepared cappuccino. We rarely attend synagogue (but definitely if a bar or bat mitzvah we know is leading the service) because getting dressed up and driving forty minutes feels less holy than taking a meditative walk through the redwoods. We sleep a lot, watch dishes pile up in the sink, read. We don’t “observe” Shabbat as much as we immerse ourselves in it.
This week’s Torah portion is known as Vayakhel (Exodus 35:1-38:20) and emphasizes how Moses gathered the Sinai dwellers together and explained the day of rest as the center of Jewish life (“vayakhel” means “gathered together.”) The rest of the parsha deals with the specific details of building the tabernacle to house the holy tablets handed down to Moses, a physical creation to mirror the space in time that is Shabbat.
Rabbi Shraga Simmons writes:
Because Shabbos and the Tabernacle are one and the same. They are both links to a transcendent dimension. During the Jewish people’s 2,000 years of exile from the land following the destruction of our Holy Temple, Shabbos served as our sanctuary, the place to restore and refresh our perspective in a world often hostile to Torah values. As it is said: As much as the Jews have kept Shabbos, Shabbos has kept the Jews.
It’s also been said (The Talmud, Shabbat 118b) that if all Jews were to observe just two Shabbos’ properly, the final redemption would occur.
Considering our penchant for doing most everything improperly, humankind’s redemptio might take forever. But we’re doing our best. At the very least we’ll be back Monday rested and refreshed, as we hope you will, too.
Painting by SarahLeah.
Shabbat Shalom!

We’re on a linguistic kick, so here’s a glossary hip Hebrew slang you can only learn from hanging out on Ben Yehuda Street, courtesy of Ha’aretz Underground.
Yesh matzav no one will nichnas l’sratim if we can’t find a photo to post with this?

After being chased by a mob of p.o.’d worshippers after filming a sexy kiss near the Western Wall and then losing the Best Supporting Actress award to Cate Blanchette, Natalie Portman had a pretty bad week. She was ever so humble in apologizing for the tonsil-licking debacle, saying

We’d never heard of the Orthodox practice of a mohel sucking blood from a baby’s privates after a brit milah until recent reports that three infants contracted herpes from the ritual, resulting in the death of one child. The only thing we ever saw a mohel put his mouth on after the brises we’ve attended is rugalach, but this disturbing custom known as metzizah b’peh has been practiced by a small percentage of Chasidim for thousands of years. It does not appear have any halachic origins, but some believe it has “mystical” benefits and also prevents any unhealthy coagulation. However, to protect Jewish baby boys from infection, the Rabbinical Council of America has instructed all rabbis to use a sterile tube from now own rather than risk direct oral/genital contact.
We admit to being fairly grossed out by this one, mainly because who wants to know that their rabbi has herpes?

Our deepest appreciation to Jewschool for directing us to Swearasauras and its wonderful glossaries of Yiddish and Hebrew curses and nasty epithets. Next time some farbisiner momzer flames us, we’ll be ready.