News Flash! The Christians are takin’ over! Never fear, Abe Foxman and the mighty Anti-Defamation League are on the scene! Full story.
Don’t get me wrong; I love Abe Foxman. Loooove him. He’s a true hero, no a SUPER hero. But sometimes, just sometimes, it’s just too much drama. Know what I’m sayin’, my comfy assimilated Jewish brothers and sisters?
Even more dramatic is the news that the Muslims love him too! Well, just until he turns his fierce kvetching powers on them tomorrow…
Houston‘s got Jason Alexander, St. Louis has Fran Drescher, Detroit’s got Jack Klugman who needs TV when our favorite stars are out promoting their new books?
All month long your local JCC is hosting readings, discussions, book groups and more. If you’ve been thinking to yourself, “Hey, I need to unglue myself from this screen and buy a good book to read on a park bench somewhere,” remember, nobody but nobody throws a book fair like the People of the Book.
Go. Read.
In other news, Mima’amakim has published its new journal and is celebrating with a grand fête in NYC’s East Village as I write.
I am, of course, nowhere near. But since I did get an acceptance e-mail for my poem “The Big You”, I was actually invited. And that’s really all it takes to make me feel like a real writer.
One loud-mouthed, big-haired Jew will replace another when the object of many a’ 80’s rocker girl’s affection, David Lee Roth, takes over seven of Howard Stern’s soon-to-be former radio markets around the country.
Oh, oops, Diamond Dave doesn’t have so much hair anymore.
Nevertheless, I’m disappointed that the San Francisco station that used to carry Howard chose the completely moronic “Man Show” mouth-breathing sickpot Adam Carolla over DLR; guess the marketing hipsters liked Carolla and his monkey frat boy act over a dedicated rocker who might be past his buttless Spandex days, but has evolved into something almost…classy? (Read his open letter in the Village Voice, if so inclined.)
Maybe someone should sic the Roth Army on those idiots.
No matter to me, really, since I’m more of a Al Franken-in-the-morning gal myself.
While I’m on the subject of Africa today, AllAfrica.com reports that Governor Chief Diepreye Alamieyeseigha of Nigeria, on trial for money laundering and various forms of corruption unfortunately so common in African politics, dumped his Nigerian counsel in favor of “Jewish lawyer”.
We’ll see if the choice works for him: The Nigerian Tribune reports that Mr. Corker Binning, Alamieyeseigha’s new representation, would like to have the trial moved from London to Nigeria, presumably to give his client a more sympathetic shake (strangely, many Nigerians still support their governor in spite of his flashy wealth and their underfunded infrastructure and schools.)
Nice try, buddy: The trial, now postponed to Dec. 8, should open in London as planned.
The BBC recently posted this photo essay about the Jews of Uganda, known as the Abayudaya. (Hat tip to my mom.)
You might assume they’re a “lost tribe” like the Ethiopians, but this small sect arose in the early 1900’s after Ugandan leader Semei Kakungulu broke away from the British Christians and began following the ways of the Old Testament. Even though he’d never met another Jew, Kakungulu circumcised himself and his sons and adhered to his strict interpretation of Torah. (Read more about their complex and fascinating history here.)
I’ve had their CD on my Shabbat rotation for a year now, and this is one inspiring, grooving group of Jews.
So far it’s been a good week for Jews according to JTA:
A German-based campaign to educate people about an Islamic holiday called Al Quds Day, which is sometimes referred to “Let’s Wipe Israel Off The Map” Day, has resulted in the removal of the “holiday” from interfaith calendars. Don’t worry, you weren’t getting the day off anyway.
And in Prague, Jews and non-Jews, including “prominent personalities and journalists”, gathered in a counterprotest to a neo-Nazi demonstration and outmatched the Aryans in numbers and might. The neo-Nazis were there to picket the German embassy for imprisoning Holocaust denier Ernst Zundel, which led 84-year-old
Auschwitz survivor Jan Fischer to ask: How did these kids become such idiots?
(Yes, it is against the law in Germany, as well as the Czech Republic, to deny the actual historic event called the Holocaust. Here in America, where we can’t point to an entire town and say “all the Jews that used to live were killed by Nazis,” we call Holocaust denial free speech.)
The bad news is that a scapegoat had to be hoisted and it had to be a Jew. (Don’t feel bad. With a nickname like Scooter, who knew?)
Heh heh, get it, Beavis?
Uh, you guys win. Any frat boy who can rock a mogen david above his six-pack is all right by me. From CollegeHumor.com with a hat tip to the mysterious “Sam”.
Again, nothing fancy, but a maybe a chuckle for you, kinder:
So a popular young rabbi announces to his congregation that he will not renew his contract. He explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush. No one wants him to leave.
Sol Epstein, who owns several car dealerships, stands up and proclaims, “If the Rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with a Honda minivan to transport their children!” The congregation sighs in appreciation, and applauds.
Sam Goldstein, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands and says, “If the rabbi will stay on here, I’ll personally double his salary, and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college education’s of all his children!” More sighs and loud applause.
Sadie Goldfarb, in her 80s, stands and announces with a smile, “If the rabbi stays, I vill give him sex!”
There is total silence. The rabbi, blushing, asks her “Mrs. Goldfarb, whatever possessed you to say that?”
Sadie’s 90-year-old husband Jacob is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side while his wife replies “Vell, I just asked mein husband how ve could help, and he said, “F*ck the rabbi.'”
So this is post No. 1000 for the Yenta, and I’m sorry to report it won’t include any photos or links to hot Jewish stories around the globe (something about my computer at work prevents me from doing things other than, um, work.) However, I feel I need to mark this occasion with a “WHOOPEE!”
One thousand posts inspite of two kids, six extra pounds, one bald tire and no cigarettes for a month. I’m not really one for self-aggrandizement, but today, I rock.
Back to to the grind…