Meet The Jewish Supermother

tunker toysAs if I didn’t feel inferior enough, here comes Sarah Lipman, an Orthodox Israeli former schoolteacher and mother of FIVE who, in her spare time, has invented a “stylus for use with Palm Pilots and other devices that emits an invisible light, allowing for ‘three-dimensional interaction'” and is a star at the Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas this week. (Hat tip to Jewish Blogmeister.)

The Yenta has never been in danger of inventing anything (for which you should all be very grateful — I can make a toaster explode with nothing more than a piece of spelt bread and a deep yawn.) I can’t imagine keeping a kosher house with five shrieking mouths to feed, then creating technologically advanced products after they go to bed. She undoubtedly has domestic help and the children are in school part of the day, but even if I had a maid, a cook and a full-time nanny, I’d still end up serving butter with the brisket. It’s the life of a bad Jewish mother, but it’s my life.

On the other hand, my son made a “tzedakah machine” out of the Tinker Toys he got for Chanukah. Let it be known that this was completely his own idea, because I was blogging rather than being the kind of mother who gets down on the crusty carpet and plays with Tinker Toys.

In his own words, “it spins around and money comes out, so I’m going to send it other countries, like in Africa, and then when they buy all the food and medicine they need there, they can send it back and I’ll send it somewhere else.”

My accomplishments may not ever make me rich, famous or even fulfilled, but man, is my kid a mensch. And that, my brothers and sisters, is the best thing a bad Jewish mother could ask for.

Nobody’s Perfect and That’s The Way God Likes It

ugaHaving endured watching UGA’s tragic loss against West Virginia in last night’s Sugar Bowl (not to mention the steamed cat pee smell of the only sports bar in town), this Algemeiner (Yiddish for “everybody”) column called “Kabbalah and Football” seems appropriate:

A rebbetzin (rabbi’s wife) is scheduled to speak to a group of blue collar students in Southwick, MA as part of “Religious Diversity Day.” The kids know practically nothing about Judaism, and she wondered: “How could I leave them with any meaningful information beyond terms such as synagogue, rabbi, gefilte fish and matza?”

“Imagine if you will, that you are a football coach…” Read more to find out what angels and Terry Bradshaw and Earl Campbell have in common.

Menorah Fractal & Cleaning Tips

menorah fractalIt’s a little sad to put the menorahs back in the cupboard after so much warmth and light, but here’s something to keep a bit o’ Chanukah in your life all year long: The Menorah Fractal Desktop Wallpaper. Download it for free at waterfire.us.

In spite of their proliferation on dorm walls, fractals aren’t just pretty pictures favored by people who frequent head shops — they’re visual representations of “iterative calculations” developed by mathemetician (and Polish Jewish immigrant) Benoit Mandelbrot in the 1970’s. Dig it.

As for your non-mathematical theory chanukiahs, here’s a few tips for cleaning (The Yenta’s a big believer in freezing them overnight — the wax chips right off.)

Skipped the Diaspora?

Ha’aretz reports that archaeologists have found the remains of a Jewish community that was active after the fall of the Second Temple.

The findings – said to be the first indication of an active Jewish settlement in the area of Jerusalem after the city fell in 70 C.E. – contradict the common wisdom that no Jewish settlement survived the Roman destruction of the city. However, some Israeli archaeologists have argued that Jewish settlement revived and continued to exist even after the destruction.

The site being excavated is along the planned route of new light-rail system to Jerusalem. Full story.

Jack’s Black Weekend

jack blackSpazalicious Jew Jack Black is likely enjoying the massive success of King Kong, but apparently had a hard time keeping control of himself while filming:

“There was a lost weekend where I had a little time off and I did some Ecstasy and I went on a kind of crazy rampage and I started smoking (again),” he told GQ magazine this month.

The article reports that Black has since quit the smokes and is on a “strict diet,” which presumably does not include Ecstasy.

(As for the gorilla flick, also starring supersexy Adrian Brody in the leading man role: Haven’t seen it ’cause the local movie theater’s under water, but I heard it’s killer. Anyone care to write a mini-review in the comments section?)

Back in Black With Buckets O’ Rain

floodThe Yenta’s back, wearing my favorite AC/DC t-shirt, crankin’ Bob Dylan and ready to rock the latest in Hebrew news. But first, the weather.

Due to massive storms and subsequent flooding, mudslides and tragic destruction of many homes and businesses in Northern California in general and my small town in particular last weekend, I’ve gotten an up close look at what Mama Nature can do with wind and water. My family got off easy; though the house was surrounded by water for several hours on Saturday, our possessions and DSL line remained intact. Even the cat showed up after a scare that the two-foot mud wave trapped her in the crawl space.

Many of my neighbors were not so blessed. Deepest condolences to those who have lost lives, property, pets and income.

It’s been a beautiful thing to watch folks come down from the hills to help clean up; though this isn’t a particularly Jewish community, tikkun olam is happening right outside my front door. Neighbors are helping each other shovel out doorways, pack sandbags and rebuild fences, even in the face of more rain.

Yes, that’s right — it’s still coming down for like, the 20th day in a row, so if the next week’s posts feel moist, or worse, moldy, blame it on the rain. (Yo, Blogreader: KMA.)

Happy New Year!

Jmerica preview The Jmerica staff would like to wish everyone a Happy New Year! We are going to continue the growth and expansion of our websites based on your input and ideas. Jmerica is home to a vibrant and active Jewish community involved not only in dating but business networking and friendship building. Check out our preview page for our next version of Jmerica.com. This is the fruit of countless emails from Jmerica users and hours of labor by our staff to make your ideas come to life. Be on the lookout as we upload more pictures from the successful 2005 Eve Party. In this new year Jmerica.com and YoYenta.com will only get better with your help. Thanks again for another wonderful year.

-The Jmerica Staff