There is no doubt that Evan and Jaron Lowenstein are very, very cute Jewish boys. Our people could not ask for more — not one, but two mensches with identical handsome punims out there representin’ and declining Friday night gigs.

The kosher duo has played pro baseball together, had more than a couple hit songs together, shilled for Israel together and are surely at least partly responsible for the sexy makeover that modern Judaism has received in the new millenium (at least in America, anyway), kicking off that “it’s so cool to be Jewish” wave that launched a thousand hipster t-shirts and the invention of the faux mitzvah.

But their singular career is in dangerous D-list territory. Last year they shamed themselves on a painfully dumb reality show where they showcased an “invention” that hides olive pits and were never seen again in the series. How long could it be before they ended up on some has-been graveyard show like Celebrity Fit Club, all Elvis-obese times two, having gaining 50 pounds each in a desperate attempt to keep themselves in fame’s addictive light?

They’re not Chyna Doll’s b*tches yet, but it’s getting there. Just last night I saw the Wonder Twins of Modern Orthodox with their latest joined-at-the-hip adventure on Character Road Trip on the USA Network, and I was really rooting for them.

Unfortunately, the boys quote awful made-up dialogue and travel the country in search of “unusual characters” like a guy who makes Etch-A-Sketch art (this is not, actually, that unusual,) a roller derby queen/sex therapist named Markie D. Sod (OK, she qualifies) and fading celeb Corbin Bersen (sorry no one’s producing Major League 7, Corby, I always liked ya.) It’s just terrible TV, people. Trust your yenta.

The shanda here is that these boys are talented — and the good news is that they’re in Nashville producing a new album. But now they’ve got to keep the interest of a fan base who has since tasted novelties like Hasidic reggae dub. Can Evan and Jaron come up with something new and exciting, like a genre-busting album of Jewish alt-country?

What the heck is going on on the other side of the planet? Last week we learned that books claiming to teach the secrets of “how to get rich the Jewish way” are bestsellers in China, and this week a Korean comic book is in the news with some scary propaganda within its pages:

The book says Korean-Americans are diligent and successful in the U.S., “but in the end, always run into the wall called the Jews.” The accompanying picture shows an exasperated man walking up a hill only to be blocked by a brick wall with a Star of David and the word “STOP” in English.

It goes on to hold Jews responsible for 9/11, claims the American media is run by Jews and asserts these are commonly held beliefs. The comic is part of hugely popular South Korean series called “Distant Countries and Neighboring Countries” and is supposed to be teaching children about the rest of the world.

Korean-American groups are outraged and have teamed up with the Simon Wiesenthal Center (which has posted ANOTHER story about anti-Semitic books in Japan) to raise concerns with the publisher, Gimm-Young. Rabbi Abraham Cooper of SWC has urged Gimm-Young in a letter to replace the “litany of hate” in the comic book’s pages and will travel to Seoul in two weeks, presumably to see these changes through. These dangerous beliefs about Jews have likely flourished in Korea because there is no established Jewish community there to provide a truthful representation. Too bad there’s not an emergency arm of Chabad (or maybe that’s a good thing.)

Since the story broke, author Lee Won-Bok has beleagueredly defended that he is not anti-Semitic in the least, it’s just that “the Jews are the invisible force that controls the U.S.” and he wrote the chapter to let people know that “you can’t understand the U.S. without knowing the Jewish community.”

Can you believe this guy is a university professor? Are they handing out PhDs with the BBQ or what? Can’t wait to see that chapter on Israel.

*Thanks to reader Jonathan Moeller for the tip!

This month’s issue of Zeek,” that edgy, fascinating “Jewish journal of thought and culture,” features Jay Michaelson’s provocative, somewhat topsy-turvy look at the paradox of spiritual practice, the point of which is to “stop seeking” spiritual fulfillment — presumably because we’ve reached that point of fulfillment. But it ain’t so easy:

Stopping seeking actually takes a great deal of effort, because human beings are genetically and environmentally conditioned to seek all the time. Every moment, most of us are thinking about the future or the past, chasing something pleasant, or trying to avoid something unpleasant. Sometimes we’re just clueless. And once in a blue moon, we’re sameach b’chelko, happy with what we’ve got. But usually, in ways so subtle that they escape attention, we’re seeking something.

This seeking (even if it’s as subtle as say, attempting to relieve boredom by distracting ourselves with blogsurfing) causes suffering, since it takes us away from the moment, from God, from What Is. And so the path to happiness lies in what helps us “not seek” ways to make reality different, or better; maybe for you it’s prayer or meditation or just stopping the neurotic monkey monologue our minds run constantly.

(Like just a little while ago, I was totally absorbed in writing and then this thought that I really need a chocolate croissant kept poking up and no matter how much I ignored this desire it kept disrupting my flow. Now, if I went ahead and purchased this gooey goodie, something would have be satiated, but would it have made me happy in the sense that my ego is diminished in the face of the greater glory of the world? Maybe I’d experience bliss for ten minutes or so while the sugar buzz lasted, but ultimately, no, I’d be the same compulsive nutjob I was before, just chubbier.)

The Zen-nish admonition that we quit trying so hard to find happiness and instead let it meet us in the big quiet space between our thoughts makes more sense to me than making myself insane about kashrut laws and exactly what minute to light the Shabbos candles. Because surely part of these rituals are designed to help us meet God in the deeper pockets of our consciousness, or as he puts it, “what it really is about is the purification of the present moment from desires or fears of other ones. It’s about showing up.”

Of course, as in any spiritual activity, the “not seeking” can become food for the ego, just like with yoga or meditation or observance. But being a spiritual slacker isn’t the way to enlightenment either, since the not seeking takes a sincere effort, too. *Sigh* I guess that’s what makes it a paradox.

So thanks, Jay Michaelson. I’m as confused as ever. Maybe a chocolate croissant will help?

*Jay’s book God In Your Body is available at JewishLights.

I first caught comedian Gary Gulman as part of Dane Cook’s Tourgasm and I was all, Wow, now that’s a fine-lookin’ Jew. Tall, too. With a punim and shoulders like that, he could get on stage and discuss the nutritional value of pencil shavings and I’d be captivated. It turns out his comedy is as good as it looks — Gary’s got an understated, intelligent style practically devoid of obscentities, a rare feat in the gross, grosser and gross-out world of stand-up. A finalist for two seasons on Last Comic Standing, he mostly mines the ordinary for absurdity; a little Seinfeldish, without the smarminess.

His 2006 full-length special, “A Boyish Man” has been running on Comedy Central as of late, so maybe you’ll watch Gary with your bubbie without being embarrassed. Unlike last time at the nursing home with that other Jewish comedian who has a Tourette’s-like affinity for the word “vagina.”

Ha ha, tricked ya, the answer is not “items found in the Yenta’s bedside drawer.” (Although if you were at a party at my house and you were tacky enough to sneak in and check, you might find two out of the three.) And they don’t have anything to do with Britney Spears, either.

No, the above-mentioned inventions were all created by Jews, as were shopping carts, sonar, the electron microscope and drive-thru banking. Wikipedia’s long list of Jewish inventors is fascinating, although it’s important to stay wary of compilations of famous Jews. Bad people are known to use such lists to justify their delusions and conspiracies, even though it’s plainly obvious that Jews are smarter, richer and have more sex than anyone else.

In fact, I would be suspicious as to why a list of Jewish inventors is relevant at all in the sifting quicksands of the Wiki universe, as much as we enjoy shouting our collective accomplishments from the rooftops. However, seeing as there are inventories of Muslim mathematicians, Christian scientists (Tom Cruise is noticeably absent) and notable athiests, I won’t call Abe Foxman. But I would like to find Ralph Bauer, the dude who invented the gravel-voiced electronic memory game Simon (whose voice chip ought to be used at Gitmo for the serious cases) and yell at him for four or five days straight.

Surely, the world would be a quieter, less exciting place without the products of these great minds. C’mon, would your life be the same without the Flexistraw? And while you’re flipping channels this evening, don’t forget to send up a “thank you” prayer up to Robert Adler, the Jewish creator of the remote control, who passed away this week at 93.

Hat tip: Jewlicious.