Though the Yenta’s free-spirited, beer-soaked college days are long gone (as a creative writing major, I remember being so proud of my first “laptop” — it was an HP the size of Samsonite suitcase and weighed as much as one filled with Norton anthologies), this information might be useful to those looking to scam on Jewish co-eds and for ambitious mothers planning in advance.

Hillel’s Top 10 Jewish Schools

Top 10 Public Universities
1. University of Maryland, College Park; University of Florida, Gainesville (5,400)
2. Rutgers University, New Brunswick (5,000)
3. University of Central Florida (4,500)
4. University of Michigan, Ann Arbor; Pennsylvania State University, University Park; University of Wisconsin, Madison (4,000)
5. California State University, Northridge; Florida State University; University of Texas, Austin (3,800)
6. University at Albany; Florida International University (3,500)

Top 10 Private Universities

1. New York University (6,500)
2. Boston University (4,000)
3. Cornell University (3,500)
4. The George Washington University; University of Pennsylvania; Yeshiva University (2,800)
5. Syracuse University (2,500)
6. Columbia University; Emory University; Harvard University; Tulane University (2,000)

I can’t believe my alma mater didn’t make the list; it’s always referred to as “Jew of A” by tribe members and non-members alike.

And where’s Brandeis University? How can there possibly be more Jews at the University of flippin’ Wisconsin than there?