A few one-liners at Mel’s expense:
Jay Leno:
- Theres now a 48-hour cease-fire going on in the Middle East. Israel will stop attacking Hezbollah. But, Hezbollah will not necessarily agree to stop attacking Israel. Hey, we cant even get Mel Gibson to stop attacking Israel.
- As you may have heard, Mel Gibson was arrested in Malibu on a DUI. I dont know what he was drinking but I think you can rule out Manischewitz.
- The sheriff said that Mels blood alcohol was .12. Give you an idea how high that is, half a point higher and he would officially be a Kennedy.
- Police said today that they found a bottle of tequila in Mels Lexus. So lets sum up what happened here; Mel Gibson, who grew up in Australia, was drinking alcohol from Mexico in his Japanese car while yelling about the Jews in Israel. You know where he was coming from? A Thai restaurant. Welcome to America.
Conan O’Brien:
- Israel continues its strike on Hezbollah. Tomorrow they are going to start attacking Mel Gibsons house.
- A member of “The View said they will not see anymore of Mels movies. Barbara Walters said that. Mel Gibson responded by saying, “There goes one $3.00 senior discount matinee ticket.
Add your own in the comments section.