A couple weeks back all those smart kids at Jewlicious had a very interesting conversation about “What Is Jewish Identity?” that will surely spark something in you, when you have a chunk o’ time to read it. Meanwhile, this vid might be considered the “little bus” version…

For those of us who can only answer the question of Jewish identity with a Star of David tattoo, a shellfish-scarfing Jewish spouse and two Pentateuch-named children who beg for Santa, these kinds of discussions inspire a religious/spiritual/cultural headache. I know compared to anyone remotely observant, I’m at best an ignoramous; at worst, and infidel. I can list a hundred more instances of how I am a subpar Jew — lighting candles on Friday night and driving the soccer team for pepperoni pizza on Saturday, choosing sleep over Hebrew school on Sunday mornings even though my children do not know any other Jewish kids — yet each paradox could not exist if not for the defining fact of our Jewishness.

When I was single, the only holiday I ever celebrated was Yom Kippur, but I never would have considered marrying someone who wasn’t Jewish. I grew up in a large Reform community that left no spiritual impression on me, yet I sing my children Hebrew lullabies from my summer camp days. I think the gay folk of Jerusalem should stomp down Ben Yehuda in rainbow tzitit and leather chap tefillin carrying a giant middle finger pointing at Mea Shearim. I’m the kind of Jew who will never be blessed by the OU or buried in a Jewish cemetery (if we’re still perpetuating that myth,) but I don’t eat pig and I’d prefer to be buried in a sack in a nice spot in the woods, anyway.

Honestly, I’ve learned more about Judaism researching this blog for the past two and half years that I ever learned from any rabbi or Jewish institution. God bless the Internet for giving free access to information no synagogue ever made available to me without dues I couldn’t afford.

I’m a “bad” Jew because don’t feel compelled to daven in Hebrew at shul save on the High Holidays, but am I a “good” Jew because I have taught my kids the prayers I do know? Bad or good, still a Jew, always been a Jew, always will be.

So I’m finally beginning to understand — I must stop worrying how other people define my Jewish identity and simply own it. And of course, teach my aleph-bet chanting, gospel-singing children to the same.