All you (four) regular readers know that the Yenta family relocated from California to Georgia this summer; what I have not revealed is that our stuff did not come with us. Yup, we’re still shnorring in the in-laws’ beach house out of the same suitcases with which we arrived, and now that the weather’s changed from hot n’ humid to chilly n’ windy, I sure wish I had more than an under-sized hoodie from Wet Seal and one pair of jeans.

What plagues me most is that my box of beloved Judiaca is still in storage. We’ve got a menorah for every member of the family (because it’s just not Chanukah unless it’s a really stellar fire hazard) somewhere in Boxland, but we’re either going to have to make a ghetto tinfoil dealio (um, or not) for this year’s Festival of Lights or make a purchase.

Enter the “Femenorah” by Notschlock, a hypnotically sparkly, yet pragmatic composition of PVC-pipe and Swarovski crystals. Designers Alyssa Zukas and Josh Korwin have rebelled against the hordes of hideous Judaica available, and “are trying to start a judaica revolution towards appealing and tasteful design for the Modern Jew.” And at $68, it’s a design within reach.

Match flick to Jewschool, who posted the Femenorah’s manly counterpart, the galvazined steel pipe Man-orah.