I just hate it when I’m noshing on the chicken (it’s always chicken) at the JEA Senior Lunch Bunch and suddenly three or four of the ladies put their heads together and start murmuring in Yiddish. Are they discussing my unshaved legs? Is there food in my teeth? What, ladies, what?

“S’nothing, honey. Ess your string beans.”

Yet another reason to study the language of the Ashkenazic ancestors, the foremost being that if you don’t, who else will? Start with these phrases, and sign up to kibbitz with some locals in your area. They’ll probably make fun of you, but it’ll take you at least six months to figure out what they’re saying.

The shirt’s on sale available via CafePress. I’ll take a dozen.