So tomorrow marks the first of the month of Elul, the period when we’re all supposed to start cleaning up our respective acts for Rosh Hashanah. Aish.com likens it to preparing for an important court date, but I think I like the idea of getting ready for the Prom of the soul: You have a whole month to curl your hair, paint your nails, Febreze your dress and practice dancing in those rhinestone heels for your most important date of the year. Screw this one up with halitosis or drinking too much of the spiked punch or just being self-absorbed, selfish or mean, and maybe the Big Guy decides you’re a pretty lame date after all. And you know what that means: Your days of being inscribed into the YearBook of Life are over, baby.

So, yeah, Elul; time to start thinking a little more deeply about who we’ve been this year, what we need to change, how to be better humans. The creative geniuses at CraignCo (that would be Craig “Silver Fox” Taubman and his crew of magical elves) have everything you need to end your 5767 right: There’s a soundtrack for the Holy Days, Inscribed, that you could start listening to on the iPod while mowing the lawn like your wife asked you to nicely five times already, and then there’s the Jewels of Elul, which begin posting tomorrow:

Beginning August 15, on each of the 29 days of Elul, we will post a “Jewel” of an inspiration from an amazing group of individuals. From Deepak Chopra to the Dalai Lama and Kirk Douglas to Matisyahu, these wonderful people will share their thoughts on “Hope and Healing”.

So after gathering up all these really wise, famous people, someone thought they needed a little sacreligious immaturity to balance things out, so they asked me to contribute a jewel, too. I don’t think I’ve ever been so honored to be asked to do anything. All the Jewels will be compiled in a book, too. Me and the Dalai Lama in the same book. Life is so weird.

Start checking it out tomorrow, and keep it up until 5768!

Update: It’s up; I’m Jewel #1!