Florida state officials seem a little embarassed that their attempt four years ago to cure citrus trees of canker with something called “Celestial Drops” has not been effective. In spite of the drops’ “elegant crystalline structures” and “high energy and low entropy” and the claim that the substance was “so pure the company had been allowed to distribute [it] as drinking water,” canker cells remained resistant. Then secretary-of-State Kathleen Harris says she is “in the dark” about whether the mysterious cure she heralded for Florida’s citrus crops was in fact yer basic four-buck-a-bottle Kabbalah water, but she won’t be able to hide if the canker cells start forming red strings around the trees.
c/o Jewschool.