‘Aight, girl, and you know who you are, you craaaazy lady who trolls the Jewish dating sites looking the hottest hook-ups within 50 miles…these are for you.
God forbid you get into an accident wearing them and the shaygetz paramedic sees and thinks you’re easy. Oh, but wait you are.
Bummer they don’t come in boxer briefs, nu?
From SlutShirts, which you should check out to see just how many categories you fall into…
You know a Texas Jewboy has arrived when he gets his own action figure.
From Kinky’s official campaign web site:
This figure comes ready for action, dressed in Kinky’s black leather vest and cowboy hat, with a Texas shaped belt buckle, and of course, Kinky’s signature cigar. With fully poseable arms for gesturing and telling corrupt career polititians where to go, the Kinky Friedman Talking Action Figure is sure to become a classic collectible.
Especially if he unseats incumbent Rick Perry. But like Bobofet and C3PO, you’d better keep Kinky in the box to vest full value on eBay.
The $29.95 goes to Kinky’s campaign, which is running hotter than ever as the March 7 gubernatorial primaries heat up in Texas (Kinky’s running as an independent, but he says he’s got the 45,000 signatures to get on November’s ballot.)
See? The starving children of Indonesia really do benefit when you finish your brussel sprouts.
From JewishFunnyBone.
The friendly and crafty Akiro Ohiso whipped this one up; get it before it takes off like “Vote for Pedro.”
And while the whole “Napoleon Dynamite” frenzy has thankfully wound down, this one will likely be relevant for a long, long time.
BTW, that’s really me looking out from the blue bar. Thanks to the genius of ma’ main tech man Ctraffik, I am no longer represented on this site by a crabby old woman. You can see now that I am indeed, a crabby woman in her 30’s.
When you’ve got a gnarly cold on top of PMS, nothing says “No, I do NOT want to have sex!” more than these pajama pants with “SHLUMPY!” across the tush. Sometimes a significant other needs it spelled out, y’know?
From Modern Jewish Mom, a really excellent site full of sage advice, Shabbat recipes and parsha summaries in plain English, as well as a “Moms Share” section.
Looking to change your image? Wear it on your next date to dispel the notion that just ’cause you’re an accountant, you still know how to party.
Also available in “Not Yo Mama’s Nice Jewish Girl” for those ladies who think donning a miniskirt and a pair of slutty heels is too subtle.
From Rotem Gear Shop. Extra points to them for the “yo”.
And a proper English curtsey to DailyJews for the heads up.
The good news is that you’ll always know which way to pray with the Incredible Jerusalem Compass.
The bad news is that you may have been facing the wrong way all this time, even at shul:
According to the JPost, the married father of six (does this post warrant a “Jewish Superpapa” title?) who invented the solid brass, battery-free compass, has tested it on numerous synagogues and found them “significantly off the mark” even in Israel.
“Most Diaspora Jews face the traditional Mizrah (East) when they pray, but if you face east and pray in Florida, Toronto or London, you will be facing totally different spots,” he explained. (Full story.)
For 25 bucks, his invention assures that we can now point our prayers in the right direction. Amen!
I know there’s some of you out there who still believe the current administration is trustworthy, and I advise you to lay off the pills immediately.
Periel Aschenbrand, the cute girl pictured modeling this clever motto, not only created the “The Only Bush I Trust Is My Own” t-shirts available with a slew of other socially conscious, sweat-free togs at her bodyasbillboard.com) but has also recently published a book of the same name. Perhaps you’ve seen Periel posing as a sexy Eve-like nymph on the cover? (Gosh, for some reason, it’s getting serious up-front play in the bookstores.)
It’s part stream-of-consciousness rant, part personal philosophy, shaken with a references to post-modernism, masturbation, lap dances and Jewish dating, and it’s damn entertaining. The giggle factor here is high, rising to snort levels during conversations with her Israeli mother.
Periel is a self-proclaimed egomaniac and calls herself “post-gender,” but at the same time is rocking corporate marketing by raising awareness about what we wear across our chests.
With minty freshness, that is.
That’s right if O’Reilly wants to get his panties in a wad about keepin’ the Christ in Christmas, we all about puttin’ the Chan back in Chanukah! From tshirthell.com the same folks responsible for last year’s filthy “spin my dreidel” shirt. The site’s also sporting a “Santa Hates Jewish Kids” number this year maybe someone wants to buy one for O’Reilly?