Category Archives: (not-so-traditional) Tradition, Tradition!

Holiday rituals and recipes

Barbie Writes Torah

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tefillin barbieA few people wrote in asking why I hadn’t posted superfabulous Tefillin Barbie since she was all over the Jblogosphere. I figured she’d gotten enough exposure, but that was until SomethingJewishUK posted this interview with Tefillin Barbie’s creator, Jen Taylor Friedman.

Far from some bar mitzvah girl who hasn’t outgrown her dolls, Ms. Friedman is training as a soferet, a female Torah scribe. She’s caused quite a stir in the Orthodox world since Torahs penned by women aren’t considered kosher, though Friedman has “written an halakhic justification that would fit into the Orthodox canon, but it’s more a matter of sociology, and the social construct that is Orthodoxy isn’t ready for that sort of thing.”

The Sefer Torah (a handwritten copy of the Pentateuch) she’s working on is promised to a large Reform community in St Louis, Missouri. “They are going to use it; it’s smaller, lighter, and more legible than their current ones.”

You can read more about her holy antics on her blog, or bid on Tefillin Barbie on eBay!

Colbert Knows His Aleph-Bet

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I’ve been going to bed early lately, and so missed my usual Colbert Report fix — todah raba to Bevel for the tip!

And since you’re here, this completely silly, corny clip might tickle your Days of Awe while you’re adding up all your sins. Bill Ray Sheet — very punny. I know “Tekiah” sounds a lot like “Tequila,” but next year no more Weird Al wannabes, ‘k?

Southern Services

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mickve israelA new year brings new experiences, so I attended Rosh Hashanah services at Congregation Mickve Israel on Monterey Square in Savannah (if you’re a Midnight In The Garden of Good and Evil fan, this should mean something to you.) It’s quite an impressive building, isn’t it? It’s as stunning on the inside as out, all naves, arches, towers and stained glass. Plenty of non-Jews visit and tour the grounds. In fact, while crossing the square to the entrance, you’d best take care not to get run over by a tour bus.

Mickve Israel is the Reform flavor of the city’s three congregations; the others, Conservative Agudath Achim and Orthodox Bnai Brith Jacob, are known respectively as “A.A.” and “B.B.” and don’t have nearly as dramatic digs or the swank downtown location. Maybe it’s because Mickve Israel was the first congregation in Georgia, founded by 42 Portugese and German Jews in 1733 — making it the third oldest congregation in America. The history of the people and the building (including a recent multi-million renovation of the social hall and Hebrew school) evokes much pride among congregants and locals alike — Mickve Israel is truly an icon in a city full of architectural gems.

When El Yenta Man and I were dating, I flew over for a December visit while he was taking a break from grad school and took a tour of the synagogue, where his mother was a docent. Standing at the back of the sanctuary with the soft winter light glowing through the famous windows, I was startled by the sudden knowledge that I would stand in this same spot in a wedding dress, and that this cute guy I’d been seeing for the last six months would be waiting for me under the chuppah. The wedding was nine months later, and no one seemed to mind at all that it wasn’t in Scottsdale.

But (yes, there’s a bit of a kvetch coming) sitting in services Friday and Saturday I began to question whether this congregation is my spiritual fit. I mean, it should be; my husband was bar mitzvahed there, I got married there, for heaven’s sake. It’s absolutely gorgeous and the people are kind. Yet, I found myself distracted from the liturgy by the pointy windows and pastel glass — and especially the choir. And the organ. Which were hidden in the back balcony rather than on the bima, giving the effect of mysterious voices singing “Aveinu Malkeinu” from the ether.

So combined with the gothic interior and the un-tradition of most men not wearing yarmulkes in the sanctuary, it seemed…almost…churchy.

And I can completely understand it: This is a congregation that has thrived in the deep South, probably because it tries hard to get along with its Christian neighbors. It has taken Reform Judaism to a practically painless level; services were under two hours and mostly in English. It was the kind of High Holy Days ritual that the people interviewed in today’s JTA article about Jews who don’t attend services might enjoy rather than epic, “boring and incomprehensible” sessions that turn off so many young Jews.

By scaling back on some of the spiritual traditions that have little meaning for folks whose families have lived in the South for four or five generations (and therefore have little connection to the “Old Country”) but promoting a strong cultural presence in the larger community, this congregation is phenomenally successful at giving Savannah’s Reform Jews a positive identity and a beautiful place to pray comfortably.

I suppose that’s it: I think maybe I need a little more pain in my prayer. I need a mournful “Mourner’s Kaddish,” I need people belting out “Adon Olam,” I need a shofar blower who turns red and spits. I always feel that I don’t know enough about the Torah and the rituals (the food — that I know) and it felt very weird this Rosh Hashanah to actually miss this parts of the liturgy that were left out. Could it be that I’m becoming more religious in my old age or is this motivated by guilt? Did anyone else experience a dearth of spiritual connection at services this year? Did you go at all?

Green Muses On His J-Hype

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shawn greenPoor Shawn Green. He’s not so religious, but as the most prominent of a handful (okay, maybe two handfuls) of Jewish pro baseball players, he’s unwittingly become a Jewish icon. Ever since he delicately handled a Yom Kippur/playoff game conflict back in 2004 by playing on Kol Nidre and sitting out the next day, Green’s Jewishness is central to his public identity whether he likes it or not. From Sunday’s sports page :

Truthfully, Green doesn’t always feel very Jewish. But then, Green will find himself again front and center in the outfield of some big-league stadium, and suddenly he is supposed to be the next Sandy Koufax, the next Hank Greenberg. One of maybe a dozen Jewish players in the league, he is supposed to represent everything to everybody.

Full story.

Meaning the guy probably can’t eat a piece of shrimp without worrying that some tabloid-y Jewish blogger is watching (no worries, Shawn, I’d never tell.)

Apparently whomever schedules the games has become a little more sensitive this year: there’s no High Holidays conflict for Green, who’s enjoying his first season with the Mets and the rest of New York Jewry.

L’Shanah Tovah Y’all

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rosh hashanahDearest reader, I wanted to write how much I wish for your Sabbath and Rosh Hashanah happenings to be filled with warmth, light, love, hope, faith, fine wine, crisp apples, honey made by happy bees, a tasty round raisin challah, fragrant flowers and the soul-clearing tones of the shofar, but I think this painting by artist Rochelle Blumenfeld says it all.

Rosh Hashanah Greetings For Slackers

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appleI’m pretty sure I still have thank-you notes to write from my wedding eight years ago, so I can’t be expected to order (in advance) those lavish and lovely cards real Jewish grown-ups send out (on time) to friends and family. So here’s a compilation of all the electronic greetings all the rest of you slackers can send with just a few clicks. No, e-cards aren’t nearly as classy or personal, but they help assuage the guilt. Besides, they’re free.

First off, stay away from Supergreetingcards.com — there’s something weirdly Jesus-y about them; plus, they got the date of Rosh Hashanah wrong on the home page. And the singing squirrels and apples playing guitar at cards.123india.com take the “mooshy-gooshy” factor so far you may feel like barfing.

Egreetings.com has by far the most original and artistic Flash art and E-cards.com has some nice stills (as in non-animated), but both sites require membership and Yenta don’t play like that. They do have a free trials though, so maybe you’ll check it out.

Chabad has a decent shofar/tree of life dealio that’s quite pretty, but as far as no commitment, entirely free e-cards go, your best bets are HappyDayCards (though the beaver offering is completely retarded), Roshhashanah-cards.com (more dancing apples, but the food one is nice for all the gastronomical Jews in your address book) and Roshhashanah-greetings.com (more with the shimmying fruit and annoying furry animals, but there’s a couple of things you won’t cause you shame.)

Even if you’ve never sent any kind of Rosh Hashanah card to anyone in your (self-absorbed, lazy) life, take a few minutes to send out one these. Your mother will plotz, at the very least.

From Hectic to Serene With The Flick of A Match

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sabbath candlesSo my mother-in-law’s caregiver quit without notice, the minivan required several hundred dollars worth of tinkering and I’ve somehow ended up with three extra children to watch for the weekend, but it’s still been a blessed week. And although sundown is still hours away, I must bid y’all “Shabbat Shalom” before my charges burn down the house.

Please enjoy this watercolor by Washington state artist Shelley Skoropinski – it truly captures the exhale of relief I experience every time I light the Shabbos candles. (Larger view.)

The rest of Skoropinski’s work exudes the same quiet reverence for Jewish life; I just love “Friends” and the one of the men playing chess. Should you have a blank wall begging for color and talent, her paintings are available as 11×17 prints for $30.