From AP via Ha’aretz:Israeli researchers have germinated a sapling date palm from 2,000-year-old seeds, saying their research could lead to the discovery of new medicines that will benefit future generations.
Nicknamed “Methuseleh” after the Biblical character who lived to be 969, the sapling grew from a seed excavated at Masada, where Jewish rebels chose suicide over dominion by the Romans about…2000 years ago. In the final hours of Masada’s residents, Elazar ben Yair ordered that all the Jews’ possessions except food be destroyed to show that the Jews did not die “for want of necessities; but that, according to our original resolution, we have preferred death before slavery.”
We may be leaping to conclusions here, this seed left behind by those who would not succumb and has been reborn (with the help of science) as a valuable tool for future generations proves quite literally that the Jews will not only survive, but thrive.
(More photos at sfgate.com.)

Though he retired around Passover this year, 50 Shekel, formerly touted as the “World’s Most Kosher MC” for his “In Da Shul” parody of 50 Cent’s “In Da Club’, has been born again. As in Born Again. As in he’s rappin’ as a Jew for Jesus now.
Yiddy Fiddy, aka Aviad Cohen, launched a new web site last week that details his sudden conversion after watching Mel Gibson’s The Passion, which sounds like a parody in itself save for his New Testament-y sincerity.
Music critic Arye Dworkin at bangitout.com credits the meanies at Jewschool (who criticized Shek with postings about his career and religious credibility) with driving him into the arms of those culty people our mother always warned us about. Mobius’ response (in which to he admits to being a big bully but insists 50 Shekel must take responsibility for his his own choice) and the ensuing discussion provide quite an insight into how nasty it can get out here in the blogosphere.
We’re sorry, Fiddy, we always had your back. But listen up: Not only are the Jews for Jesus people psycho, Christian rap jus’ plain sucks.

Before we had Club Med, the Jews had the Borscht Belt. Kutsher’s Country Club in the Catskills inspired the movie Dirty Dancing (where the Jewish girl gets the stud—do we need to explain why this movie is an all-time classic?) and is the last of a dying breed. In fact, they’re thinking of joining up with a different tribe and turning the historic site where your bubbe and zayde danced the merengue into a casino.
Better grab a reservation before the goyim show up with their buckets o’ nickels.

On the AP wires this weekend: Israel is considering using an unusual new weapon against Jewish settlers who resist this summer’s Gaza Strip evacuation a device that emits penetrating bursts of sound that leaves targets reeling with dizziness and nausea.
No one told us Joan Rivers had made aliyah! We can just see her standing out in the desert on a red carpet wearing a gross Chanel suit with a megaphone in one hand and the other hand skreeking acrylic nail tips across a giant blackboard while settlers flee in every direction.
Photo: AP.

In spite of a scandal concerning the proselytizing of born-again Christians at the U. S. Air Force Academy that continues to brew like a bad cup of coffee, Jewish cadets at the Army’s elite West Point Academy say their school couldn’t be friendlier to our tribe. An article from Hillel.org (originally printed in The Forward) depicts an atmosphere that is tolerant of all religions where Jewish military officers-to-be can daven, kibbitz and chill out in a gorgeous, $7.5 million chapel dedicated in 1984.
West Point’s rabbi, Carlos Huerta, believes the Army’s tolerant relgious attitude is a result of this branch of the military’s particular role: “The major weapons system in the Air Force is what? It’s a very expensive airplane. In the army, our primary weapons system is the individual soldier. So our whole moral ethic is directed to taking care of people.”
So mazel tov to the West Point graduating class of 2005. As former press secretary Ari Fleischer told the cadets at last week’s ceremony, “You provide a double mitzvah. The epaulets on our shoulders tell the world you are Americans; the faith in your hearts tells the world you are Jews.”
(photo c/o M.I.T..)

We’ve got a lot to celebrate this weekend, so much so that we’ll have to wish you an early Shabbat Shalom. We’re breaking away once again from our dark hollow to the holy desert of Scottsdale, AZ to honor and support Marcia Feinstein as she is called to the bima as a bat mitzvah. She’s studied hard all year and we’re so proud.
Of course, she’s already got the usual Judaica, and in lieu of gifts the bat mitzvah girl asks that loved ones give tzedakah instead of savings bonds, clock radios and charm bracelets. Such a mensch.
Way to go, Mom. (Plenty of adults are doing it now, ya know.)
Coming up Sunday night is the cheesiest of all Jewish holidays, Shavuot. For whatever reason, Jews commemorate the giving of the Torah at Sinai with staying up all night studying and eating dairy products. This can take its gaseous toll on the lactose-intolerant, so don’t forget the Bean-O. We’re bummed we wont be around for Dawn 2005, the Bay Area’s rock’nroll Shavuot celebration, but we’ll have to console ourselves with a cheesecake from Chompies’. Or maybe we’ll bake up our own. (Unlikely.)
Wishing you all a chag sameach!
(Bat Mitzvah Barbie photo c/o Bar Mitzvah Disco.)

From Ha’aretz:
A new study by the University of Utah on Ashkenazi Jews (we’re suspicious already—exactly why is Jewish DNA being studied in Mormon country?) suggests a link between genetic diseases like Tay-Sachs and superior intellectual ability.
The study says an unusual pattern of diseases among the Ashkenazis of central and northern Europe is the result of natural selection for enhanced intellectual ability. According to the researchers, the restriction of Ashkenazim in medieval Europe to occupations that required more than usual mental agility, was the selective force.

So because our ancestors couldn’t wield hammers or shod horses, they had to use their keppes to survive. Which may explain why “Ashkenazi Jews make up [just] 3 percent of the population of the United States but have won 27 percent of its Nobel prizes.” (We also account for more than half of world chess champions.)

Yeah, everyone knows Jews are smart. And some Jews are smarter than others. But is it good for the Jews to have genetic proof?
“It would be hard to overstate how politically incorrect this paper is,” said Steven Pinker, a cognitive scientist at Harvard University.”

Found this on True Jew Stories with the caption “Thanks R. Crumb.”
We couldn’t figure out if it’s an actual Crumb cartoon, but we’re of thinking of putting it our businesscard since it bears a certain likeness.

Just in case you were wondering, there are no less than ten definitions of the term “Jewfro” at UrbanDictionary.com. However, considering the unpleasant stereotypical slang contained there, we’re guessing it ain’t fronted by Jews.
(Featuring Matt Stone’s “orgasm-inducing” Jewfro here, courtesy of TheKrazyKennyShow.net.)

Music producer Phil Spector may be on trial for the murder of Lana Clarkson, but it’s his hair that needs to prove itself innocent. The Boston Herald likens it to a “Chia pet gone wild” and reports what all the clever bloggers have to say about what could be the most distracting courtroom maneuver since Michael Jackson’s p.j.s.