We came across an advice column called The God Squad in the ]local paper of Allentown, PA that poses the following question for its non-Jewish readers:
Q: My daughter has been invited to attend a Passover seder at her best friend’s house. Is there something I could send with her that traditionally goes with Passover? For example, if she were going to an Easter dinner, I might send a lily.

The God Squad’s answer (condensed, our italics): The first thing to ask is if her friend’s family keeps a kosher house. If they do, then bringing any kind of food would be out of the question. A bouquet of flowers is nice, but Jewish tradition considers cut flowers an affectation of luxury and so prohibits them at certain rituals. A potted plant would be nice, though a tree might be a bit much. Even if the family does not keep kosher, it’s still wrong to bring food that is not kosher (anything made with yeast or other forbidden foods) for Passover. Many chocolate shops have kosher Passover candy that they make or sell boxed. Of course, you could combine the two ideas by bringing a chocolate potted plant.

A chocolate potted plant?! *sigh*. Goyim.
God Squad, let us correct ya on how to be a mensch-y Passover guest: A nice bouquet is always appreciated. (Except for carnations. Too WASP-y.) Last we checked in with the Lexus-driving, bling-adorned members of our temple, affectations of luxury are nowhere near “against Jewish tradition.”

Those lucky enough to attend the Palm Beach International Film Festival got a sneak peek at what promises to be history’s most hilarious Passover comedy, When Do We Eat? “The story of the ‘world’s fastest Seder; gone horribly awry, it’s about an old school dad (Michael Lerner) who’s as tough on his sons as his father (Jack Klugman) is on him. On this night, however, one of the boys (Ben Feldman) slips Dad a dose of LSD in order ‘to give him a new perspective.'”
We never tire of films about dysfunctional Jewish families who find compassion and understanding through heartfelt dialogue and drug use. Honestly, who hasn’t wanted to dose an uptight relative or two at interminable family gatherings?
When Do We Eat? remains in Hollywood distribution never-land and will probably not be in a theater near you by Passover, but the official site is definitely worth checking out.

Yesterday we had Who Let The Jews Out; today we’ve got this flashy lil’ ditty from our favorite frum robot. Must be the season for hip-hop-and -ya-don’t-stop Pesach parodies…
c/o Jewlicious.

Thanks to our British friends at Daily Jews we now know that Viagra has been ruled kosher for Passover. If your mom and dad disappear halfway through the haggadah this year, it’s not because they’re putting little pieces of carrot on the gefilte fish.

MSNBC reports now that two of Hollywood’s most prolific and powerful Jews, Harvey and Bob Weinstein, have been “let go” by the Disney Corporation, they’re putting together a cabal of advisers that includes Seagram’s heir and prodigal son Edgar Bronfman, Jr. (whenever anyone uses the term “world Jewish leaders,” they’re usually referring to his ubiqitous and controversial father whether he’s mentioned by name or not.) The Weinsteins sold their independent film company, Miramax (named for their parents, Miriam and Max. Such menschs, those boys!) twelve years ago and will now start their own maniacal takeover of the film industry.
For all those psychos over at Jew Watch who may be monitoring this site for signs that Jews do in fact run Hollywood: Be afraid, be very afraid! We’re going after cable next!

After the first night of Passover, we’re usually so exhausted from dealing with wine stains on the tablecloth and random relatives passed out in the den that the so-called Second Seder is a more casual family gathering over delish leftovers on paper plates while we argue whether this second night of Pesach is different from all other nights, or is it just the same kind of different as the First night Seder? (Can anyone offer an answer?) This year we’ll completing this picture of the true meaning of Passover freedom as we break out the t.v. trays and watch Matzo and Metal: A Very Classic Passover. Host Dee Snider of 80’s glam rock tragedy Twisted Sister, Scott Ian of Anthrax, Leslie West of Mountain and Snider’s bandmate JJ French will discuss “their experiences in the music industry as well as their Jewish heritage over a special Passover meal All foods served will be Kosher of course courtesy of the special’s sponsor Manischewitz.” Let it be said that we hope the one-hour special will not feature these hard-rocking but very ugly men in their normal professional attire of spandex and make-up.
Rock your Second Seder! VH1 Classic Sunday, April 24th at 7 PM ET/4PM PT.
Photo c/o Jewschool, which we sincerely hope won’t upset them.

Here’s a cute Flash movie for your viewing pleasure, care of the promotors of Sam Apple’s highly-touted new book Shlepping Through The Alps. These same promotors obviously forgot to include the highly-voracious book slut who serves as Jmerica’s editor on their promotional copy campaign. Perhaps this can be remedied as soon as possible.
Link c/o The Pig of Death, quite a funny guy.

Jewish leaders traveled to Salt Lake City yesterday to meet with Mormon higher-ups about the little problem of the Church of Latter Day Saints’ practice of baptizing deceased Jews. A review of the LDS database has revealed that thousands of these baptisms have been performed over the past ten years, including those for Holocaust victims who have suffered enough without the indignity of some Jesus-lovin’ stranger taking authority over their souls. We always thought baptism required dunking the head under water, but the Mormon church has developed a system to get around such a silly rule:
Through its unique practice of proxy or vicarious baptisms, names are forwarded for baptism, and church members stand in for deceased non-Mormons. The church believes the ritual is required for the dead to reach heaven.
So to make sure we understand: A live Mormon stands in for a dead Jew, and this will rearrange Heaven so that everyone can party on the same vibe? The Jewish leaders who met with LDS said they believe the Church acted in “good faith,” but they’d appreciate it if it stopped immediately. The Mormons didnt exactly say ‘yes, we’ll stop messing where we don’t belong,” but the Utah news folks call the situation “resolved.” The AP story shows it to be anything but.

For those of you who like to mix up whips ‘n’ chains with your Torah and tefillin, there’s a new online community called LeatherJews. We’re a pretty vanilla crew around here that has no idea what “BDSM”, “slave in training” or “DOMME” mean, but they seem like lovely people.

The New York Jewish Student Film Festival is back for its second year featuring some of the best student films from across North American and abroad!
Saturday, April 16th, 7:00 pm: Come watch a free screening of Garden State written and directed by young Jewish filmmaker/actor Zach Braff. Join us for the after-party at 7 East 10th Street in the heart of Greenwich Village for FREE food, drinks and tunes!
Sunday, April 17th, 11:30am: FREE FILM WORKSHOPS! A chance to meet professionals in the New York film industry for specialized workshops at NYU’s Bronfman Center. Matthew Hiltzik (Vice-President of distribution, Miramax Films) Ben Younger (Writer/Director, “Boiler Room”) Tami Gold (Documentary filmmaker, “Every Mother’s Son”) First come, first served! Limited seating available, RSVP recommended: jackie.miller@nyu.edu
Sunday, April 17th, 3:00pm – 5:30pm STUDENT FILM FINALISTS SCREENING! Watch the top films by young Jewish filmmakers internationally. Winners will be announced at the screening. More info available at www.nyu.edu/bronfman/filmfest.
All screening events will take place at: Cantor Film Center, 36 East 8th St.
Sponsored by the Bronfman Center for Jewish Student Life at New York University, Avoda Arts, The Jewish Enrichment Center and Taglit-birthright israel Alumni Association.
For more info, email: zeloet@yahoo.com