JPost reports that the Bush administration is courting Sen. Joseph Lieberman to fill the position of Secretary of Homeland Security, which is probably the most intelligent thing we’ve heard all year. His mission, should Hadassah decide to let him accept it, will be to freeze out terrorists with the calm effiency of Deputy Dawg– a seemingly feckless character who always gets his man.

In a post about Seventeen magazine’s editor Aloosa Rubenstein’s disturbing advisory skills, our favorite celebrity scandal blogger confirms our suspicion that his “J” is our kind after all.

We practically pee in our pants watching the half hour Da Ali G Show, so we figured his feature-length movie would have us soaking the coach. We were mistaken. Sure, Sacha Baron Cohen inhabits his grammatically-challenged, bling-lovin’ alterego like his own skin and there are some hilarious bits when he’s beatboxing with his lily-white posse, but the flim lands way too far into the realm of juvenile male humor for our taste (the opening scene contains a revolting animal-gratification act that grossed us out immediately.) The ridiculous plot revolves around Ali G trying to save his neighborhood community center when he is suddenly catapulted into the upper echelons of British politics; he must then save the world by ogling boobies and making beat-off jokes. We guess if you’re a 13-27 year old male it might be entertaining, but the gimmick works way better in television format.

So Chanukah is officially over. We hope yours was full of warmth, greasy treats and glinty gold gelt. Ours was truly de*light*ful; we lit a menorah each night for every member of the household and had extras on hand for guests, which made last night’s full effect something of a fire hazard. Not to mention the melty mess to clean- dripless candles? Yeah, right.
Here’s a little tip we learned a few years ago to aid you in this blessed chore: Put your menorah in the freezer overnight before cleaning it. The wax will harden and be easier to chip off with a butter knife or other scraping tool. Polish your chanukiah with a clean rag and put it away someplace safe. You’ll be so happy when you pull it out next year, all shiny and ready to take on eight more nights of melted light.
Now, if anyone has any advice on what to about the multitude of tiny burns on our hands from our epic, spattering latke extravaganza, please post them.

We don’t know how we missed this a few weeks back, since anything related to Jews and sex is definitely our bag:
Lux Cosmetics postergirl Sarah Jessica Parker was given a modesty makeover when Orthodox leaders complained that her billboard showed too much skin. Unilever, Lux’s parent company, figured it was worth the hundreds of thousands of shekels necessary to outfit Parker with a longer skirt and sequined jacket, explaining that “We dressed Sarah Jessica Parker for the winter.”
Power to the people, yo. As much as we appreciate skimpily-dressed star candy, no one should have to be offended while waiting for the bus. Now, if the rabbis could only help us draw trenchcoats and moustaches on those skanky bebe ads all over San Francisco, we’d be stoked.

We’d report on the horde of Jews nominated for this year’s Golden Globes Awards (Natalie “Nekkid Princess” Portman, Adam “I’m So Ugly, Please Love Me” Duritz of Counting Crows, Zach “UberMensch of the Year” Braff…) but the folks over at Daily Jews have already done such a durn good job.
Now all we have to do is pop a ginger ale and watch who wins January 16, 8pm EST on NBC.

Jmerica’s genius gnomes have been awfully busy in the last few weeks building up the site to enhance your digital Jewish experience. For those lovely readers who patronize this blog, have you listed your business or service in the brand spanking new JDirectory yet? Filling fast with listings from Jewish schools to tech advice companies to kosher restaurants all over the country, it’s the place for you to seek and find all commerce that’s Jewish-related.
Jmerica Magazine also boasts two new pieces this month: Sam Shmikler’s Remedy For Restless Hands is a Jewish look at masturbation that reminds us all that our sacred parts are not a toy. And if you abhor red-and-green blinking bling, Yo, Yenta! tackles how to cope with the tackiness of the season with her usual inappropriate smarminess.
Thanks to the gnomes and Happy Monday to all!

So the JPost uses “Hanukka,” while Something Jewisk UK likes “Chanukah.” We even came across a new permutation this week in the Jewish Chronicle, “Chanucah,” which we’d never seen before.
Oy, it all sounds the same to us, but the Board of Guardians of British Jews has had it with the multiple spellings and has issued a mandate that as of Kislev 25 5766 (December 25, 2005), “British Jews should only spell the festival of Chanukah as Chanukah.”
“Over the years, we