Forget the Chrismukkah schmaltz. A coupla enterprising bubbies have jumped on the Internet greeting card bandwagon with Yenta Sentiments, a line for all occasions, from plotzing to kvetching.
Our fave: Shlepaholic…12 Steps And I Have To Sit Down !
There’s still time to order for Chanukah…

Madonna reportedly called her Versace photo shoot to a halt so that she could pray and meditate, Kabbalah-style, for a “period of good fortune.”
Someone overheard her praying: “Rosh Chodesh for the moon in Sagittarius. It ushers in a period of good fortune.”
Whatever smarmy comment we could make about her voo-Jew mantra mumblings, it must work: she was paid $10.5million for vogueing that afternoon.

Uber-mensch and survivor of the fittest Ethan Zohn has returned to Africa to do more than form alliances with other thrill-seeking contestants: the former soccer goalie is partnering with a Jewish-based non-profit program to address the ravages of AIDS in this impoverished land. Zohn’s own non-profit, Grassroots Soccer, “focuses on AIDS education and team building through soccer” while working with Project Namuwongo Zone B, which “provides access to clean water, micro-finance loans and school fees for children living in strife.”
How refreshing to see someone parlay their celebrity into tzedakah instead of VIP status at the Viper Room!

So apparently, this whole blogging thing is catching on. Really, there couldn’t be a more flexible word: it’s a noun, a verb, it’s a phenomenon. Coming soon to a dictionary near you.

A lightning bolt struck the power supply at Kibbutz Yifat in northern Israel last week, instantly killing 10,000 chickens. Though serving ’em up with a side of coleslaw is forbidden by the laws of kashrut, we’re thinking it doesn’t get more kosher than being fried by the actual hand of G-d.

Shucks, our favorite J. Weekly columnist Jessica Ravitz has split the Bay Area to take a job with the Salt Lake City Tribune. We wish her much mazel in Mormonland- girl, you’re gonna need it.
J. is still searching for her replacement: any takers?

Madonna is p.o.’d that the press keeps bagging on Kabbalah, urging naysayers to do their research before dissing on the faddish heights of her new “religion.”
Says Queen Quasi-Jew: “If they did that, then they’d have a completely different view. I wonder if they’d be less irritated if I was studying existentialism. Maybe they would.”
Of course, because existentialism and that whole “G-d is dead” pile of nonsense is just soo unsexy; but why IS everyone on her case? Even though we think the Kabbalah Center has turned a complex ancient wisdom into a farcical self-help empire, there must be a seed of truth in there somewhere. And it doesn’t hurt the Jewish population of the world to have hordes of gentile seekers coming to learn about a previously veiled part of Judaism that has made its way into the mainstream. Perhaps the press and the bloggers help cheapen Kabbalah by reducing it to red strings and high-priced healing water instead of examining the material.
But, durn, that sounds boring. Go out and recruit some more celebrity skanks for us, Madge!