Poor Bobby Fischer. The former chess champion now languishes in a Tokyo jail, spinning schizophrenic yarns about America and the “international Jewish conspiracy.” The Pasadena Star News comments that “the saddest people are the really smart ones gone crazy. When their insanity–biological, situational, whatever– turns for perverse solace to that weirdest kind of racism, the self-loathing kind, it’s the saddest sight of all.”
Read the whole story here.
Look! Lindsey Lohan got a Kabbalah bracelet to match her new boobs!
This pic was originally posted by Rooftop Report, but we love Defamer‘s take:
“Expect the Kabbalah Centre to be stormed by an ecumenical mob of fourteen-year-old girls in red string bracelets and forty-year-old men in sweatpants who completely ignore the aging pop megastar with the creepy, veiny biceps at the front of the room.”
According to the fine journalistic publication The Star, Madonna’s rabbi Yehuda Berg thinks adding another puppy to her litter “would be a great thing for her spiritual growth.” Of course it would, unless someone took away her nanny, maid, personal trainer and Kabbalah guru; then that third kid would be an excellent catalyst for a harried housewife’s nervous breakdown.
Also in the news:
Web India reports that Madge sang two songs in Yiddish at a recent party, igniting rumors that she’s planning to release an album in the Mother Tongue. That’d be great, her producers could throw in a snappy techno beat and it’d be all the rage in the gay clubs!
We’ve never participated in speed dating (unless you count that boozy second semester sophomore year) but it evokes images of Ritalin-ravaged thirtysomethings standing and sitting more times than the frummers on a Friday night. We’ll stick to the privacy of online photos and profiles rather than spend six minutes with this guy. Or her.
Anyway, Florida’s Star Banner attributes the revelation of speed dating to a rabbi. Who knew it would evolve into beers at Hooligan’s with a cheerleading facilitator ringing a cow bell?
Rambling and strange acronyms aside, Ric’s (Rugged, Intellectual, Confident) humble autobiography shows us there are all kinds of Jews out there.
We dig the reader-submitted vibe of The Jewish Magazine; it’s a refreshing change from so much other pretentious horsesh*t that limits Jewish people.
Originally printed in the Orange County Register, this story was republished for the good people of Fort Wayne, Indiana, who have now been turned on to the hot new trend of Judaism. Will the faux mitzvah join the ranks of 4-H and bow-hunting accidents as fashionable teenage rites of passage?
Lil’ Jeffie (ha! he’s 6’4″) has been busy in his hometown of Pittsburgh, PA. The 51 year-old tall drink of water sings and dances in a production of The Music Man with his 24 year-old fiancee, who was still in diapers when he made The Big Chill. To top off the tabloid fodder, a film crew is tailing the happy couple for a new reality TV series. Hmm, a ho-hum musical with a third wife in Pittsburgh? Probably not primetime material.
The Chicago run of Masada: The Musical Saga has been has been postponed indefinitely, which means it won’t be going on to Broadway anytime soon. Too bad. Operatic historical melodrama (which we already know ends with everyone throwing themselves off a cliff) isn’t our favorite thing, but we would’ve at least appreciated a chance to shred it.
..but we don’t have HBO, so we’ll have to wait until next week for a videotape that was once used to document our junior high band performances.
If you haven’t a clue, Ali G is one of the many alteregos of Sacha Baron Cohen, a spot-on satirist who’s, well, J. Says Jossip.com (The J stands for “journalism”; we did think it meant Jewish for a eensy minute until the Mary Kate cocaine coverage burst our balloon):
“We like to think of Cohen as the straight Ru Paul: he’s hysterical in costume, but blends into the crowd as his normal self.”
If you caught the show, let us know…
A beer bong for Boy Genius Julio for directing us to College Humor, where you can buy a term paper, guffaw at vegetables shaped like schlongs and sneak peeks at naked boobies all at once. If such things had been around when we were idling at U of A we might’ve taken seven years to finish our degree instead of five and half.