When is a hunk of wax with a string down the middle worth 28 dollars? When it’s got kabbalah juju all shmushed in there, of course!

Slatkin’s Kabbalah candles are inspired by the same holy wisdom made famous by our favorite stars and each comes with its own red string. Available through the Neiman Marcus boutique, these wicked wicks…

Sigh. I know you really want me to write something terrible and sarcastic about bored, spiritually unfulfilled housewives with nothing better to spend their money on. But honestly, with scent combinations like “red frangiapani, heliotrope, musk, vanilla and creamy sandalwood” (that’s the “Spiritual Cleansing”) these just seem like incredibly lovely candles that would add nothing but good vibes to one’s atmosphere — y’know, aside from the pop religious associations.

If I didn’t have to buy diapers and the third pair of sneakers of the school year, I’d stock up, I would.

Mr. or Ms. Slatkin, if you’re out there? Listen, I’m not above shilling for free stuff. Maybe you could kick down one of those Power of Prosperity jobbies in exchange for a permanent link?