It’s the last day of Passover and I don’t want to smell a piece of matzah until next spring. But what to do with the leftover box and a half of staleness? Some ideas:

*Insulate the crawlspace
*Moisten and mix with avocado for a pore-toning facial
*Under the guise of “feeding the ducks up at the lake,” launch a ninja-style attempt to decapitate the goose that snapped at me last week
*Throw a Jewish hoedown and substitute ground matzah for sawdust
*Market a brand of over-priced bio-degradable kitty litter

I feel like I’ve been on the Jewish Atkins diet — six more hours and the Yenta family will be scarfing on the biggest, doughiest pizza we can find.

We’ll probably be joined by many others with the munchies — though for different reasons than eight days of carb denial:

4/20 is widely-celebrated holiday here in Northern California for its marijuana-related significance, and there are a lotta stoners in the San Francisco Bay Area. Go figure.

(If you would like further clarification on the concept of 4:20, check out the High Times’ movie, man.)

Strangely, the Semitic stoners of Jewish High has nothing to say about the double holiday, but they’re probably all out enjoying their own, uh, pizza.