El Yenta Boy thinks he’s pretty hot stuff ’cause he’s had the Ma Nishtana down since he was three, so I thought I’d up the challenge and make him learn it in sign language this year. Just kidding. (Hat tip: Bangitout.) But I have a question for those parents of multiple kids out there: When is time to pass the baton to the next youngest child? Little Yenta Girl isn’t ready to take over yet, but I foresee heartbreak next year when I tell my son he’s being passed over for a younger chanter. He has such a Jewish neshama (soul), though; he’ll probably be leading the seder by the time he’s nine.

Like many of you this week, I’m up to my ears in chametz and shmutz (crumbs and dirt), though I’ll never live up to Chabad’s Chametz Wizard. Add in switching over the winter wardrobe for the summer clothes and simultaneously packing for a family visit to Arizona in a few days, as well as preparing to move out of the in-laws’ beach house to a home of our own next month, you’ve got one frazzled Yenta here. Looking forward to taking next week off — you know you’ve left the last vestige of your punk rock lifestyle behind when visiting your parents sounds like the epitome of rest and relaxation.

Which brings me to what could be perhaps the fifth question: If we’re not actually going to be inhabiting our (not) home during Passover, can I leave this bag of pita in the freezer and just give my born-again neighbor a dollar?