This was forwarded to our inbox by someone who knows someone who knows the cousin of the guy who works at the coffeeshop where this girl gets her latte everyday:

Subject: Invoice 6/12/04
Date: Sat, 12 Jun 2004 17:15:59 EDT
Dear Dana:
On June 5, you agreed to accept dinner, paid for in full, by me, based on
your stated offer that we would go out again. In that you have ignored all
overtures to said follow up meeting, you are hereby considered in breach of
contract.
To that end, you are being invoiced for 50% of the cost of the dinner,
pursuant to the offer. For the record, the offer presented you with the option of
not going out again and paying for half of the dinner, or going out again and
not paying at all. You accepted these terms, choosing to go out again, as stated
above, but have since failed to deliver your end of the agreement. In that
this was merely a promise to meet, and not a promise to marry, the agreement is
binding under New York law and does not require a written agreement (i.e.
statute of frauds).
Furthermore, this is absolutely not a joke.
Your share is 50% of $74.51 which is a total of $37.25. Payment in full is
expected within 30 days.
You may remit to:
Andrew Goldberg
720 Greenwich Street, #4d
NY NY 10012

Andy. Bubbeleh. Is the thirty-seven bucks worth what such pettiness has done to your reputation? Dana didn’t like you, man. Maybe Miss Schnurrer should have coughed up her half at dinner if she didn’t want to go out with you again, but you’re never going to find love counting pennies.