Yes, the Yenta has slacked lately on the ridiculousity of celebrity kabbalah for the obvious reason that it’s sooo done, but I have always regarded Madonna (and yes, sometimes she is known as Esther) with a healthy respect concerning her self-proclaimed Jewishyness. I mean, she may not be playing by the traditional rules, but she’s just so darned committed when so many Jewish-born celebrities could give a sh*t, so if she wants to be one of ours, it’s ai’ight by me. And we all know how much weight that holds.

According to this article about her psycho exercise regimen, she’s already got a seriously neurotic streak:

“The truth is that she takes only Christmas Day off from the workouts,” says an associate. “If she has a bad day, she will start exercising furiously. It’s like an emotional crutch — she might have a row with Guy, for example, and her response is to start exercising like a fanatic.”

“Forget Kabbalah … exercise has always been her No.1 religion … Madonna loves to punish herself.”

What’s more, she thinks between kabblah and eating macrobiotic vegetable soup for breakfast, she can stave off menopause.

Poor Madge. All the money and fame and she’s just as scared as the rest of us to get dried up and old with chicken flap arms.

Photo of the Maddonaesther and Lourdes (or Lola) c/o Herald Sun.