Dinner at the Yenta house, always loud, sometimes interesting:
El Yenta Boy: I remember my bris.
Me, his mother: Really.
Boy: Yup. I remember the rabbi with the big beard and grandpa giving me wine. Then I felt my wiener sting and I fainted.
Me, to El Yenta Man: Did you hear that? He remembers his circumcision! Amazing!
El Yenta Man: That’s because I just showed him the video.
Little Yenta Girl, who believes she should have everything her older brother has: I wanna circumcision!
Me: Sorry, babes, not in this lifetime.
Girl: Oh. Well, maybe tomorrow.
Droll, very droll! On the other hand you may have your own version of Salvador Dali – he
claimed to have a memory of his life in utero.
supersexy models, catholic clergy, penis talk … sheeeeesh gettin smutty in here 🙂
how ya been yenta, long time no see … although I waved at ElYM at the J last Tues.
how’s the new job??? your public breathlessly awaits news …
Schvach — St. Augustine in “Confessions” claims he was a really bad boy in utero …
Dan:
I’ve never read St.Augustine.
C’mon, guys, don’t you have your own in utero anecdotes? Post-bris trauma?
Yenta — you’re scaring me … all this post-traumatic bris syndrome talk has me thinking that I better get my four sons into therapy or they’ll all grow up to really hate me … but no, no matter how hard (bad choice of adjective? what would Ron Jeremy say?) I try I can’t remember my foreskin … although did it really deserve to be cut off? what did it do wrong?
Schvach — well actually I listened to it on tape … Augustine’s “Confessions” that is … I teach political theory, Augustine is part of the canon, that’s my excuse.
OK Yent, you asked for it, so don’t blame me: I’m lucky I remember to zip my fly. How’s that for risque, tadum dum (you couldn’t have said it better, could you?).
OK Schvach … you can go parading around pretending you’re a catholic priest, but no one will believe it.
Dan:
Bless you my son, but beware, the power of the blog commands you! Besides, I really have never read St. Augustine, or Aquinas, or St Anselm (well actually, I have read him).
This IS very funny b/c I know the kid and he’s got a great imagination and is destined for greatness…or something weird.
He is an awesome kid … but the parents, oy!
As Art Linkletter wrote, “Kids Say the Darndest Things”. Write all of them down so you can tell their children the crazy things their parents said.