All this talk about faux mitzvahs has got us rankled, but we stopped griping when surfed upon Bar Mitzvah Disco, a site dedicated to the best (dancing with the cute girl wearing the ruffled taffeta dress, stealing wine from the grown-ups) and worst (obnoxious relatives, your eighth-grade hairstyle) of becoming a man or woman in the Jewish American tradition.
We remember the DJ mispronouncing our name and our curls failing in spite of being imprisoned by an entire can of Aqua-Net. Post your own bar/bat mitzvah memories; extra points if you can recall the subject of your Torah portion, double if you remember the song you slow-danced to with your eighth-grade crush.