If it’s your divine aspiration to be a walking Yiddish dictionary, look no further than this schmata from WayCoolTshirts.com.

If you’re ever at lunch with a bunch of yentas who think it’s just hilarious to frusturate the younger yentas by whispering in the mamaloshen and then cackling like a murder of bedazzled crows, here’s a crib sheet to wear on your chest. (Hear that Beezy? I’m ready for you today, lady. But knowing you and the other JEA Senior Lunch Bunch girls, you’ll switch to Pig Latin just to throw me for a loop.)

Upon further inspection, some of these spellings don’t jive with the definitive holy text Leo Rosten’s Joys of Yiddish (it’ll always be zaftig, no mattter how svelte I become with the rollerblading, dahlinks) but that’s the nature of phonetic language, nu?