Top Ten Signs You’re At A Lame Chanukah Party, courtesy of Bangitout.com (cartoon, too!):

10. The Sfuganiot are filled with something, but it sure ain’t jelly

9. You get there and it’s just you, a plate of latkes, and a guy dressed up as Santa.

8. The music stops until Joe Lieberman rehits the Demo button on the Casio keyboard

7. Menorah looks alot like a bunch of flash lights duck-taped to a car bumper

6. Host generously offers his cigarette as a shamash

5. Party is dubbed “Saddam Hussein’s Rockin’ Eve”

4. Immediately after the candlelighting party breaks into a 2 hour awkward silence

3. Latkes are served in a soup bowl with a ladle

2. The guys in the room have enough grease in their hair to keep a menorah burning all year round.

1. Alas, there was not enough alcohol to last for even one night.

A few more, courtesy of the Yenta:

* There’s a giant inflatable Winnie the Pooh hovering in the corner — wearing a Santa hat

* You ask for something to wash down the latkes — and someone hands you a mug of eggnog

* The shumash sets the Chrismukkah tree on fire

Feel free to come up with more — double the points if they’re based on true life experiences (as two out of the three above are).