According to a press release (which we all know are always true– see post below), the new Kabbalah Energy Drink, with its “light citrus flavor” and patriotic packaging, beats Red Bull nine out ten times in taste tests. Hawked by celebrity “Kabbalist” Ashton Kutcher and infused with water deemed “holy” by the Kabbalah Center, the new drink is being marketed to groups that need it most:
Theres a huge bus for tourists in Las Vegas emblazoned with the Kabbalah Energy Drink logo and colors that drives up and down the strip twenty four hours a day, seven days a week.
Kabbalah Party Bus…in Vegas. Not even Shabbat off.
So wrong. On so many levels.
And: The official Kabbalah Energy Drink site with its glitzy sound effects and oscillating images of people riding motorcross and drinking enourmous Kabbalah martinis is so frightening that it froze our computer.
Yo, Yenta!
From the edge of the Diaspora rises a new generation of Jewish mother
Not convinced by the website, its annoying on purpose. I’ll wait for them to come to my town and giveaway free samples before i try it. I still put my money on the Mountain Dew energy drink, it goes down smoother.
Sugar FREE ROCKSTAR, biatches!
They all taste like carbonated sewer water. Stick to the starbucks coffee drinks. I can handle the caffeine it just carbonating caffeine that sucks.
I’ll drink it just to show J-pride. A better Jewish energy drink should be called “Koyekh” or “Rabbi Juice”.
That energy drink is about as Jewish as pork. I’ll only try it if I get a free sample.
I see the Kabbalah phenomenon as just a passing fad.
This is a disaster. By blogging it u make it seem in some way Jewish. I think we should disown these greedy morons.
LMAO, jo you are a fool “as jewish as pork”. that’s a tough critism. I’ll take your word on that one.