Did you think I was going to say we’re both lipstick lesbians? I’m honored.

Sorry to disappoint. The answer is: We both went to bar mitzvahs this weekend!

I went to Daniel Lewis’ simcha (mazel tov!) at my very first experience at an Orthodox shul – tell me, why is that the more observant the congregation, the more chatting while the rabbi is speaking? Anyway, I did feel quite content sitting in the women’s section and holding the babies, and apparently, Lilo enjoyed her synagogue experience, too. In fact, LiLo she liked it so much, she’s planning to stay:

JTA reports today that Lindsay Lohan announced she’s converting to Judaism just before attending the bar mitzvah of the half brother of her girlfriend, DJ Samantha Ronson.

While there are no reports that Sam’s mother is relieved that her daughter is finally going to bring home a nice Jewish girl, Lindsay’s dad isn’t buying it:

“She’s explored the Church of Scientology, she tried Kabbalah, and now this. I think it’s just another phase.”

He doesn’t think his daughter’s really gay either. Dude, in spite of your best-laid plans to exploit her vapid shiksaness into your multibillion dollar empire, your daughter’s a Jewish lesbian. Get over it.