Oy gevalt. It really was only a matter of time before the Jay-Z/Alicia Keys hit “Empire State of Mind” spawned a “Jew York” satire. But with so many kinds of Jewish New Yorkers, how do you pick just one?

First, we have JewYork.com mocking J.A.P-style and kinda nailing it while rocking some nice Yiddish, many velour tracksuits and some serious cleavage:

Then there’s Empire Shtick with great Big City B-roll, a fake Chasid beard and Yiddish subtitles:

This one actually keeps it pretty kosher, rhyming up potato knish, gefilte fish, dreidel and matzah ball soup ladle:

Between all three, you’ve got pretty much every Jewish cultural stereotype from bacon-eating to tzitzit to Katz’ Deli to Bernie Madoff. I’m not even mad, because watching all of these multiple times has finally ousted the original version from my addled brain.