If you’re anywhere near South Beach this solstice, best to dump whatever plans you’ve got for a mediocre Chinese meal:

Jmerica’s Eve Party 2005 promises to light up the night with chill cocktails, kickin’ DJ’s and beautiful Jews once again Saturday, Dec. 24 at Crobar. If you think it’s all hype, ask one of the 1400 boys and girls who attended last year’s bash; they’ll tell you people were still being peeled from the ceiling at dawn.

(In case you’re wondering, the Yenta did attend, but due to complications involving too much Grey Goose and one Miu Miu high-heeled sandal, I limped into a cab shortly before 1am. I’m told that’s when things really began to cook. This year, alas, I will be freezing my tuchas off on the other side of the country — not enough frequent flyer miles to fly southeast this winter.)

If you’re in the Greater Miami area and you want to meet up with the other crazy Jewish Jmericans, here’s all the info you need. If you need wardrobe advice, I’m happy to help.